Best day of my life

Wow, I've been so occupied that I only got time to post now. And it is already past midnight! I love 1st october. And I love 1st october 2008 even more. Thanks everyone for making me so happy today.

Thanks W453 for giving me a sense of belonging and identity, one that the secular world can never ever give. I really liked the wallet; I mean it is obvious. My previous one was so old and I think that the red ink is more of a graffiti than decoration. Thanks for the surprise at the foodcourt, even though it was sort of obvious too. Oppx...=X Ignorance is sometimes bliss, haha. I liked the cake, so cute and delicious. Thanks for all the sms and presents. Thanks for being my CG members =).

Thanks Dad, Mum, Da-ge, my baby brother and my maid for celebrating my birthday. I am extremely, super, ultra, to the max, full! I think I can feel myself expanding, and on the verge of exploding. Thanks Dad for the handphone, C902, thanks Mum in advance, or by faith (which is more precise), for the keyboard. Thanks Da-ge for the Giant Sudoku and strawberry with cream andersen's ice-cream. Thanks Glenn for being so cute and helping to brighten the atmosphere with your never-ending chatter. Thanks Grace for being such a great cook, for making me herbal teas, for all my sumptuous meals and especially spaghetti for every function I've been.

Last and definitely not the least, in fact, it is the best. Thank you God for creating me and putting me into the safe island-Singapore. I mean, I'm a mathematical person, and the odds of being born in another place, and another time, and being another person, with another family, with different friends, with different lifestyle, is just too great. Not even infinity can match up to it. It is beyond infinity. Infinity is just a number so big or small, if you consider negative infinity, that it can't be defined. Like anything divide by 0. But, it is still something. Now, being unique and born at the particular time and space, is totally not just something. It is entirely impossible. Not unless with God. That is why, I love you so much God. Just for who you are, not what you can do. You are sooooo GREAT!!!

Side-tracking, I have a feeling that the girl I like knows that I like her, albeit total concealment from me. But I guess my behaviour and actions must have betrayed me. And, I also have the feeling that she doesn't like me at all, and this feeling is greater than first one. Firstly, a lot of people sabo me. I don't know why...

Secondly and biologically, the brain will store the image of the person you like at your subconscious memory, which makes up of 90% of the whole memory. Please don't confuse this with short-term memory and long-term memory. So, that is why when you look at a crowd, it is easier to detect the person you like from the rest of the people, as if they don't exist. It is not that you are sharp, just an ability of your brain.
And this is the worst part. When the image is captured and formed in the retina, and transmitted through the optic nerve to the brain, your brain will tell you to stop and focus on the image, to further retain the image in the retina. So, you will be staring at that person, for a considerable amount of time. Then, one slight movement-she stares back at you. This triggers a new image to be form at your retina. If it is the person you like, reflex will act in 2 ways, involuntary and conditioned reflex (taken from my biology textbook). I will talk more of conditioned reflex, cause that is what happened to me.

So, my mind's intention is to not let the girl know I like her. I have told myself to look away or act blur when the girl is looking at me. So, I will do that, automatically. The problem with conditioned reflex, is that it requires practice and training. So I have been trained to do so, since primary school I think, lol. Somtimes, it backfires. Even when it isn't the girl I like, I still turn and look around. This creates a terrible problem for me when speaking to people. I can't get eye contact with some people, usually strangers. It hurts, and not physically, but mentally painful. It is like being surpressed or something. I can't describe the feeling. Ok, this is making me sound like a mental case, lol.

E fyhd cu pytmo du cbayg du oui vun zicd y pneav 10 sehidac. Zicd aqbmyeh so bnatelysahd, zicd fyhd du damm oui dryd E ryja megat oui vun suna dryh y oayn, zicd fyhd du yccina oui dryd E femm hajan ryns oui, yht zicd fyhd du mad oui ghuf, dryd E zicd fyhd du pa ouin vneaht, ev oui fuimth'd nalebnulyda. Pid ajanodesa E caa oui, E kad duhkia-deat, so fruma puto bancbenac, so fruma siclmac ku hisp, so fruma seht kuac pmyhg. Ajanodrehk E caa oui csema, E fecrat dryd E lyh bruduknybrelymmo cyja dryd ehdu so sasuno yht jeaf ed ykyeh yht ykyeh. Ajanodrehk E caa oui fedr yhudran bancuh, E fecr E lyh mayja so cbened yht ku buccacc dryd bancuh. Ruf E fecrat, lussihelydeuh ec syta ib ahdenamo uv fnedehk. E's hud kuut yd cbaygehk, uhmo kuut yd fnedehk. Ed ec cu silr aycemo du fneda dryh du cbayg. Cu silr suna, macc aspynnyccehk.

Yht dryd ec dra naycuh fro E lyh'd damm oui E mega oui. Lyica paehk fedr sa femm syga oui aspynnyccat. Oui'na cu amakyhd, payidevim, geht-rayndat yht csynd. Ajah druikr oui'na hud banvald, pid banvald ec uhmo bancbaldeja. Payido ec dnimo eh dra aoac uv dra parumtan. Ajanotyo E bnyo dryd E fuimt hud micd yvdan oui, palyica E's cu yvnyet dryd E femm. Dryhg kut vun rec knyla, ev hud E femm ku lnywo ehcdyhdmo.

If only she can decode this, I wouldn't have to say a single thing at all. Haix...
If only life was so simple, I wouldn't have to struggle with this at all. Haix...

If only I can have telepathy connection, I wouldn't have to type this at all. Haix...

Nevertheless, life will still continue, the time will still go on. 'Now' will never be the same 'now', cause when you say now, 0.2 second has already passed. So, smile Gary, if it is meant to be, it will be. Furthermore, God is planning all this for you. ^^

Took some photos with my 5.0 megapixel handphone. Feel so grand, lol. Will upload in the next post, which will be a collection of what I have done for the week.

I will be away for camp from today 4pm to saturday noon, time unknown. Forgive me if I don't pick up your phone. Lol.

Signing off,

Astarmist