Last sentence before I go to sleep:

ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE TAKING CHINESE 'A' LEVEL EXAMINATION LATER AT 8AM!!!

I told God I just want a B/C, not even asking for an A. Let's pray a miracle will happen =)

Ironically, I just need an S to get into university. But since I'm going to take it, I might as well do my best! Ok off to bed now, don't want history to repeat itself.(I fell asleep during promo chinese exam)

I finally broke the 7-days streak of not going to school today! Actually I woke up at 6.45am. Then I felt a bit sleepy, so I went back to sleep. When I woke up, it was 7.30am. Then I thought I would be late anyway, so I went back to sleep. When I woke up, it was 10.00am. So, going to school would be pointless anyway. So I stayed at home and play Harvest Moon PSP. Btw I'm a super pro at Harvest moon, haha. I can sort of recite everything of it, like where to get all the 10 power berries, which crops to buy and how many, etc. I think my gift of good memory is really mysterious; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Like how I can remember everyone's name for the Whacko and how I can forget what Edwin will say during meetings sometimes.

Today is the last day of school, and obviously I am reluctant to go to school. I'm been unknowingly coerced by my group mates to go, cause they postponed today's OP rehearsal to tomorrow morning. So I practically wasted my time going to school today again. Danny said he won't be going tomorrow also, so am I being the only unlucky guy going to school tomorrow, with the exception of my group mates? At least there is CCA meeting tomorrow to look forward to. I love E-gaming! Auxilion family!!

Furthermore, I'm having Chinese A level exam this thursday, and Chinese has never been my cup of tea. Actually the cause of this loathe is due to my dominant english speaking family. I rarely converse in Chinese, even during Chinese lessons. Most of my friends, if not all, converse in English too. I'm not planning to study for my Chinese exam anyway; how can Chinese be studied? It is similar to English, and you can't study languages, I guess. But still, I will pray for God to bless me all the same.

3 more days to holidays, and yet even before holidays have started, my schedule is almost packed. Mr.leow said OGL preparation will take up almost the whole of november and I already knew this long time ago from the seniors. I'm flying to Genting(Unconfirmed) during the 1st week of december with my aunt and cousins, as my parents will be flying to Israel from 2 december to 14 december, leaving me alone. My brother will most probably be in camp or taiwan for field camp, so he can't join us. This will be the first time, if it is going to happen, that I will be going overseas without my brother. I'm not used to it...

Oh well, there will be a first time for everything anyway.

Lesson of the day: Some things are taught, some things are caught. The former requires both hands to clap, while the latter relies independently on yourself.

I think I'm becoming a juvenile deliquent, although juvenile wouldn't be appropriate since I'm already passed 16. I skipped school on monday, tuesday and wednesday, all for the same reason-overslept. Woke up 12.40pm on monday, went to school for Economics but the lecturer was on MC. So I practically wasted my time walking to school. Had sports carnival on tuesday. I purpose in my heart that I didn't want to go. So I delibrately slept at 4am and made my oversleeping even closer to being possible.

Anyway, woke up at 12pm on tuesday. My cousin was having PSLE marking day so I went to buy MAC for him and visited him. I think I haven't been to his house for nearly a year. Lots of changes that I rather not waste time mentioning.

Today, my attempt was once again successful, I overslept again today.Sidetracking, I finally completed reading Slam Dunk!! 273 chapters woot! My friends were quite shocked when I played basketball with them last week. They all said my rebounding super good. Actually I learnt it from the comic book, lol. Slept at 3.30am and woke up at 11.45am today. Danny said I have to print my IC for the H3 application by 2pm. So I quickly bathed, ate and cycled to school. Then I remembered, today got 'Learning Journey'; we were supposed to visit the Peranakan Museum as a class.

So I SMS-ed my CCA president that I will not be going for CCA meeting. I didn't want to miss today's meeting too. Our teacher will be announcing the school team players. Although I won't be inside, cause I didn't want to commit after having so many commitments already, but I'm really excited for the school team. JJC's very own DOTA school team. Woo!!!

So the school chartered a bus for us and we went to the museum. If I'm not wrong, it is around clake quay area, cause I saw a road there. Took some photos. Enjoy =)

Entrance

Telephone in the year 1939

Telephone in the year 1955

Telephone in the year 1975

I know I'm a bit of a telephone aficionado. They are very mathematical!!! =D

Next, we went to the Peranakan's wedding section. Woo I took a lot of photos from the section.

Pig's head as a blessing? 0.o

Golden necklace as a dowry

(Is it real gold?...)

The bridegroom's suit

When I saw this, the first thing that came to my mind was a vampire! It really looked like a 'munak', a vampire in the game 'Ragnarok Online'. So my friend and I wanted to act funny.

Posting as vampires, failed.

Posting as vampires, success!

After the wedding section, we moved on and I just took some photos without bothering which section I was in.

Some random statue

Imba long dining table!

Danny and I got really bored so we went to the nearby cafe to eat and slack.

$6 sausage pasta, but it is delicious! =)

I guess I will end the vicious cycle today, don't want skipping school to be a habit. But seriously, there is no motivation to go school. Exams over, so no educational motivation. The girl I like is in church, so no relational motivation. My computer and Dota is at home, so no recreational motivation. The school is a prison, my main motivation to get out of it. I really love my school, cause it is famous for its school activities. But now after exams? Nothing is going on. So monotonous.

29 Oct school ends. I rather it ends now. 'Waste of time going to school' quoted from my schoolmate. My sentiments exactly. Post exam period in JC is virtually hell. It seems like exams are over and you can play and party, but actually you can't. They make you think so, but ensuring that you can't do so. Really psychotic...>.<

I still have to rush my Project work. OP and I&R submission 2 weeks later. I said I will be doing it last week, but procrastinated till now. Ok, I MUST stop procrastinating.

Lesson of the day: Change now or never change

Someone told me that my previous blogskin looks girly. So now this 1 definitely is a guy's blog. I seldom see girls playing Dota, except my female cca mates.

I think some people have the wrong mindset about playing games. Not only people who have no life, are dumb, boring, dull, any word that has a negative connotation, play games. I know of smart people who play games too. Last friday, at a bus-stop after EDGE, I saw this rather cute guy playing DJ max 2 with his PSP. I went to introduced myself and we tried challenging each other but his WLAN was bugged. His name is Yuzhong and he studies in HCI! I have a sort of reverance(of course, not at the same level I have for God) for him. Man, I'm so envious of smart people who are at the same time, and better or equal level at playing games as me. Nevertheless, there will always be one mountain higher than another one. So, I'm just going to treat it as an impetus to better improve myself in my studies and gaming, hahaha.

For those who don't know, I had a leaders' development camp from friday to sunday. I skipped camp on friday and saturday to go for Edge and Sentosa outreach-Showdown. Thank God I didn't go for the camp. They played water games from 9am to 7pm. Even if I go, it would be pointless, as I have sensitive skin. I was sunburnt during all the activities in Sentosa and my maid called me a 'red-monkey' -.-...But it was fun, lol. Went to camp again at night and slept overnight. My friends said I treat the school like hotel, lol. Then came back home at 1 and slept till 7.30pm. Woot!

2 more weeks to holiday, I see no point in going to school when exams are already over. So bored these few days, can't go swimming(lost my swimming trunk), can't go cycling(lost my bicycle), can't go eating(2 months 'vow' not to spent $$ on outside food), can't go shopping(no $$ and my taste is horrendous), can't go anywhere during weekdays(no time, unless after 7pm). Maybe I'm used to solitary living already. Is this a sign of the gift of celibacy?

I guess I should just go to sleep and look forward to a brand new day. Yea, being optimistic is my forte. =)

Lesson of the day: Sleeping suppresses stress significantly

Superfluous rewards

Many times in life, whether we realised it or not, we are motivated by external factors to accomplish a task. Motivation comes in two form-intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. As the names suggest, intrinsic motivation comes from the inside of us, which is also known as self-motivation. This reminds of me of school's motto 'SDSM'. Extrinsic motivation comes from the external environment.

Example of intrinsic motivation: I want to do well for my exams because I love to study! I love maths!!! (Of course this applies to me as well =D)

Example of extrinsic motivation: I want to get straight As for all my subjects so that my mother will buy me a PSP!!!

Personally, I believe in intrinsic motivation and I'm an intrinsically motivated person =). Everything that I do, I do it because I want to. I mean, if you don't do the best you can, then why bother doing it at all? Waste time and money and energy only.

Went to shot2fame audition last sunday and it was fun! Although our band had a minor mistake, that thankfully wasn't that obvious as said by Edwin and the rest of my cg members, but overall I enjoyed myself.

I know I'm being retarded, but I seriously hope we won't get in, lol. There are other bands that are so much better than us. The best band will always leave an impression in your mind. And the best band I know of so far is Daniel Ang's band. Wow I love their song by Paramore, 'That's why you get'. I was still singing it in school then my classmate said 'nice song, I listened to it on the radio before'. Lol!

So I still don't know why there is a need for prizes for the event. I mean, isn't the prize obvious enough? 'A shot to fame'. Fame should be a reasonable prize, lol. But I know, not everyone hungers for fame. I reckon if it was 'A shot to success', everyone will join, lol! Just kidding, haha. That is too ambiguous; different people have different definition of success.

I have been blog-surfing the past few days due to boredom. Playing Dota makes me bored sometimes too. Found out that there are some connection between some people, even though they are not from the same CG. Maybe I should start making friends from other CG too, like what Edwin said quite some time back then, lol. This whole 'shot2fame' event is really a good opportunity to know more people. I hope that all the new friends will be intergrated too. Then it will be killing 3 birds with one stone. Why 3? Hahaha, go figure out. =P

Lesson of the day: Purpose precedes prizes

3 decisions that will change my life

I'm under tremendous stress right now. I have to make 3 decisions, that are totally mutually exclusive and at their extreme ends. I shall talk about the lightest one first.

1. Being an OGL for orientation camp 09

It is not much of a choice, cause I am by default a JJ student leader and it is somewhat compulsory for us to be an OGL. Of course, there will be an interview as usual, which will be tomoro 3pm. To be an OGL, I have to attend a leaders' development camp from 17 oct-19 oct next week, meaning I have to skip either service or CG. I tried to bargain my way out, but could only get myself free on friday and sunday. Friday I told the teacher that I got outside event-EDGE and sunday I got band competition. If I mention that they are church events, they will surely ask me to skip, cause I tried that before. Why are the people so prejudiced against christians? Why are muslims allowed to skip the camp on friday because they have to go mosque, but we can't do so because we got church? Don't tell me that they have special privileges? That is so unfair. So I'm going to be super super super busy during the holidays.

2. Struggle between I&R and OP.

I&R and OP are project work terms. It stands for 'Insight and reviews' and 'Oral presentation' respectively. Right now, I only got 2 weeks to the dead line of both of them. I&R is individual work, while OP is group work. If I do either one, I wouldn't have time for the other. Furthermore, the camp mentioned above is going to eat my time again. Don't think I will do well for PW this time...

3. Dilemma between choice of H3 subjects-Maths or Chemistry?

Thank God for his grace, I've been offered to do H3 chemistry and maths. H3 subjects are super tough and it is something like higher chinese relative to chinese, in a JC standard though. Only 5 people in my class are eligible, and none of them want to sign up -.-. The teacher warned us about taking H3, that it is only useful for scholarship but not for Uni admission. That means, if you can't secure straight As for the rest of your subjects, you can forget it. Of course, we can only choose one...

By doing so, we must attend afternoon lessons at Hwa Chong Institution, and sit for exams. And obviously, taking H3 subject means fighting with people from Raffles and Hwa Chong, people who can get straight As with a snap of their fingers. It will be a good exposure, in an optimistic view. However, we will be slaughtered mercilessly. If we take the subject and decide to drop it later on, it will be reflected as an 'X' on the certicifate. Very unslightly and bad for our portfolio. My parents encouraged me to try it out, and I guess the only factor left for my decision is my Civics tutor, cause I need to get his recommendation, same goes for all the applicants.

If only I have the gift of seeing into the future, then I will know which decisions to make. Alas, if we are able to do so, then life will be boring. No surprises, no blessings in disguise, no panic (I could use some occasionally) and no future. The future will be the present. But saying this, it is a little contridicting, if 'foresight-ing' is possible. Our past determines our present, and our present determines our future. So, will I have a future?

Only God knows,

Astarmist

Foretaste of the future

I came back from camp yesterday! One word to describe the camp: PAIN!

It was an 'all-boys' camp, which is also a prep-camp for NS. My palms super pain, cause do push-up on the carpark floor. My whole body aching from all the exercises aka tortures.

Nvm, like I promised, the following photos will be a recollection of the week.

Monday

Played Dota and owned with troll.

Tuesday

Didn't go school too. Was bored of Dota. Everyone had school and I was feeling lonely. So went cycling to Pandan Reservoir from my house.

Beautiful? =)

My lovely bike =D

Black land due to the sun

Wow, the water so dirty...

Wednesday

Woo! My birthday!!! Went to riverwalk in the morning for band training. A lot of complications. Firstly, my band got disbanded. Then gerrick and I went to join kenrick's band. Actually I join Shot to Fame because of Khoon Fai. So didn't feel like continuing at first. But I'm positive that Edwin will say negative. Oh well, got a chance to make more friends. Over the past few days, I didn't regret my decision, especially after today's training. Woot all the best to every participants out there! ^^


First I celebrated with my CG at central foodcourt.

Chocolate brownie, yum yum! =)

After that, went to JP's Ichiban Sushi to celebrate with my family.

Unagi Bento Premium meal

Full to the max!

Went home and still had birthday cake to eat!

Happy 17th birthday! =D

Had camp on thursday, friday and saturday morning, nothing to post.

I think it have stretched my faith a lot. Still went to serve even though I was extremely tired. I think I almost fainted and my head was super pain. Then I slept dunno how many times during sermon and poked my hands and pinched myself to keep myself alive.

Today was challenging too. Woke up and played for CG, then went to give BS and went to Brother Eric's house for training then went to sembawang for project work. I think I'm gonna be superman soon. And now still doing project work while posting, waiting for my friend to send me the slides. I need some holiday, desperately...

Wish I can go to a beach and scream like a mad man right now. Wish I can take an aeroplane and parachute down and scream. Wish I can hold someone's hands right now. Best wish of all: Wish I had more wishes that come true.

Signing off,
Astarmist

Best day of my life

Wow, I've been so occupied that I only got time to post now. And it is already past midnight! I love 1st october. And I love 1st october 2008 even more. Thanks everyone for making me so happy today.

Thanks W453 for giving me a sense of belonging and identity, one that the secular world can never ever give. I really liked the wallet; I mean it is obvious. My previous one was so old and I think that the red ink is more of a graffiti than decoration. Thanks for the surprise at the foodcourt, even though it was sort of obvious too. Oppx...=X Ignorance is sometimes bliss, haha. I liked the cake, so cute and delicious. Thanks for all the sms and presents. Thanks for being my CG members =).

Thanks Dad, Mum, Da-ge, my baby brother and my maid for celebrating my birthday. I am extremely, super, ultra, to the max, full! I think I can feel myself expanding, and on the verge of exploding. Thanks Dad for the handphone, C902, thanks Mum in advance, or by faith (which is more precise), for the keyboard. Thanks Da-ge for the Giant Sudoku and strawberry with cream andersen's ice-cream. Thanks Glenn for being so cute and helping to brighten the atmosphere with your never-ending chatter. Thanks Grace for being such a great cook, for making me herbal teas, for all my sumptuous meals and especially spaghetti for every function I've been.

Last and definitely not the least, in fact, it is the best. Thank you God for creating me and putting me into the safe island-Singapore. I mean, I'm a mathematical person, and the odds of being born in another place, and another time, and being another person, with another family, with different friends, with different lifestyle, is just too great. Not even infinity can match up to it. It is beyond infinity. Infinity is just a number so big or small, if you consider negative infinity, that it can't be defined. Like anything divide by 0. But, it is still something. Now, being unique and born at the particular time and space, is totally not just something. It is entirely impossible. Not unless with God. That is why, I love you so much God. Just for who you are, not what you can do. You are sooooo GREAT!!!

Side-tracking, I have a feeling that the girl I like knows that I like her, albeit total concealment from me. But I guess my behaviour and actions must have betrayed me. And, I also have the feeling that she doesn't like me at all, and this feeling is greater than first one. Firstly, a lot of people sabo me. I don't know why...

Secondly and biologically, the brain will store the image of the person you like at your subconscious memory, which makes up of 90% of the whole memory. Please don't confuse this with short-term memory and long-term memory. So, that is why when you look at a crowd, it is easier to detect the person you like from the rest of the people, as if they don't exist. It is not that you are sharp, just an ability of your brain.
And this is the worst part. When the image is captured and formed in the retina, and transmitted through the optic nerve to the brain, your brain will tell you to stop and focus on the image, to further retain the image in the retina. So, you will be staring at that person, for a considerable amount of time. Then, one slight movement-she stares back at you. This triggers a new image to be form at your retina. If it is the person you like, reflex will act in 2 ways, involuntary and conditioned reflex (taken from my biology textbook). I will talk more of conditioned reflex, cause that is what happened to me.

So, my mind's intention is to not let the girl know I like her. I have told myself to look away or act blur when the girl is looking at me. So, I will do that, automatically. The problem with conditioned reflex, is that it requires practice and training. So I have been trained to do so, since primary school I think, lol. Somtimes, it backfires. Even when it isn't the girl I like, I still turn and look around. This creates a terrible problem for me when speaking to people. I can't get eye contact with some people, usually strangers. It hurts, and not physically, but mentally painful. It is like being surpressed or something. I can't describe the feeling. Ok, this is making me sound like a mental case, lol.

E fyhd cu pytmo du cbayg du oui vun zicd y pneav 10 sehidac. Zicd aqbmyeh so bnatelysahd, zicd fyhd du damm oui dryd E ryja megat oui vun suna dryh y oayn, zicd fyhd du yccina oui dryd E femm hajan ryns oui, yht zicd fyhd du mad oui ghuf, dryd E zicd fyhd du pa ouin vneaht, ev oui fuimth'd nalebnulyda. Pid ajanodesa E caa oui, E kad duhkia-deat, so fruma puto bancbenac, so fruma siclmac ku hisp, so fruma seht kuac pmyhg. Ajanodrehk E caa oui csema, E fecrat dryd E lyh bruduknybrelymmo cyja dryd ehdu so sasuno yht jeaf ed ykyeh yht ykyeh. Ajanodrehk E caa oui fedr yhudran bancuh, E fecr E lyh mayja so cbened yht ku buccacc dryd bancuh. Ruf E fecrat, lussihelydeuh ec syta ib ahdenamo uv fnedehk. E's hud kuut yd cbaygehk, uhmo kuut yd fnedehk. Ed ec cu silr aycemo du fneda dryh du cbayg. Cu silr suna, macc aspynnyccehk.

Yht dryd ec dra naycuh fro E lyh'd damm oui E mega oui. Lyica paehk fedr sa femm syga oui aspynnyccat. Oui'na cu amakyhd, payidevim, geht-rayndat yht csynd. Ajah druikr oui'na hud banvald, pid banvald ec uhmo bancbaldeja. Payido ec dnimo eh dra aoac uv dra parumtan. Ajanotyo E bnyo dryd E fuimt hud micd yvdan oui, palyica E's cu yvnyet dryd E femm. Dryhg kut vun rec knyla, ev hud E femm ku lnywo ehcdyhdmo.

If only she can decode this, I wouldn't have to say a single thing at all. Haix...
If only life was so simple, I wouldn't have to struggle with this at all. Haix...

If only I can have telepathy connection, I wouldn't have to type this at all. Haix...

Nevertheless, life will still continue, the time will still go on. 'Now' will never be the same 'now', cause when you say now, 0.2 second has already passed. So, smile Gary, if it is meant to be, it will be. Furthermore, God is planning all this for you. ^^

Took some photos with my 5.0 megapixel handphone. Feel so grand, lol. Will upload in the next post, which will be a collection of what I have done for the week.

I will be away for camp from today 4pm to saturday noon, time unknown. Forgive me if I don't pick up your phone. Lol.

Signing off,

Astarmist