As we grow older and change in terms of maturity, the topics that we talk about also changes along the course. When we were younger, the topics I talked about with my friends are games, school, etc. Now that I'm older, the main topics my friends and I talked about are life issues, relationship issues, the working world and people around us, etc. And there have been a few people asking me about my relationship stuff, so after not blogging about relationship stuff for a very long time, I going to do so now.
I was quite depressed after getting rejected and falling out of love back then and that was the main reason why I didn't want to talk or blog about relationship stuff for a period of time. Didn't want to get reminded of the past. After that, I told myself that I'm not going to like another girl cause I will just be hurting myself again. Instead, I'm going to wait for a girl to like me and reciprocate her feelings. Told this to my CGL and she said it will be quite difficult for a girl to confess to a guy; the guy should take the initiative. But I told her I won't be able to do so cause of my emotions. She said perhaps not now, let the wounds heal first, maybe in the future when God shows me the right one at the right time. Even so, I still hoped for someone to like me. That was until, I read the book called 'When God writes your love story' by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It is one of the best relationship book and it's not only for couples, but for singles as well. Really blessed by it.
Last time, when I liked someone, I will usually tell God, "God, I like person A, please bless my relationship with her and I pray she will like me back. So on..." In this case, I'm the one deciding on who to like, not allowing God to decide for me who to like instead. Most of us also are like this. And cause we like this person, but it isn't really who God plan us to like, some of us experience unnecessary heartaches and break-ups. Think about it. Will God purposely let us get heartbroken for the fun of it? It's true we will go through trials and tribulations, and even when we are together with the one that God has plan us to be, there will be quarrels, conflicts, etc. But those conflicts usually end up bringing the couple closer to each other if it is a God-planned relationship. What we want to avoid is this: Unnecessary heartaches and break-ups due to our own free will decisions that God has given us.
To me, it hit the nail on the head, because I don't wish to get my heart broken again or go through a failed relationship. God wants to play a part in our romance life too, not just in our studies, work, etc. From that day on, I told God that I'm going to let Him write my love story. Suddenly, I no longer wished for someone to like me or feel the urge to go around looking for someone to like. If I am to get married one day, then surely God has already planned it before I was created, according to the Bible. That means that he has also created someone for me already. And if that is the case, she must be somewhere on the earth right now, waiting for the right time when God bring us together.
Knowing this, I want to keep myself ready for her, being pure and Christ-centered and likewise I hope she will do the same too. Now that I think of it, it isn't so bad to not have someone like you and remain single till the day you get together with the one God has made for you. Like this, I won't be distracted so easily and I can focus more of my time on God.
Next time anyone ask me if what kind of girl I'm looking for or if there is any girl I like, I'll just reply: Ask God, I've allowed him to write my love story and bring my soul mate to me.
I'm glad to say that I've moved on from my past, to be able to share all this.
Lastly, if I really remain single for the rest of my life, which the book also talked about, then I'm going to live my life fully for God. I still got a destiny and purpose to fulfill before I go to heaven.
Friday, December 16, 2011
I can't help but to start off this post with a big
ORD LOH!!!
Yes it's finally over, 1 years 10 months of bondage. Ok when the day we ORD, we were super excited and emotional, etc. But after 2 weeks, most of the feelings are gone. And, it's back to reality...no job no $$. Seriously need a job, but I don't want to compromise and lower my standard of getting $6 per hour. And just when I entered the working world, already experienced the harshness and malice of it. Went to this MLM (multi-level marketing) company (shall not list it out as there is a lot of google search on it and I don't want to be found talking about it; not very nice too) and initially, I was quite ok-ok with it. I mean, I already knew what sort of thing they do, but I optimistically told myself, just join, no harm trying. So this was what happen for the 3 days. (quitted after 3 days cause I didn't want to walk down the slippery slope)
Day 1:
There was an advertisement featured about vacation job, $600 for 2 weeks and I was pretty much enticed by the good pay. Went to contact the person and he asked me whether I could go for an interview in the afternoon at 2pm. I said ok, then he hanged up without telling me further details. I didn't even know what I was going to do as the advertisement didn't state anything else. So I went to ______ and when I arrived in the office, they told me to sit down with another 3 girls that were looking for the same job as I am. Then I expected, as like usual interviews, they will ask me questions about myself, my resume, my qualifications, etc. (I even brought my O and A level certificate and graduation files -.-...heavy can.) Instead, they immediately said they show us some _______ products and did some experiments to show us that it works. I'm like, wow cool. Cause I'm a very logical and scientific person, if they can convince me through science, I will most likely accept it. I asked if the products or company got any complains, they said no. Then after that they kept talking about their company, the MLM system, how much $$ we can earn, how we can earn $$ without working, how can this, that , this that. All the way I'm just listening and nodding my head when necessary. Didn't even give me chance to talk back. Then after that, he asked if I would consider working for them? Then I said ok. Then he said the next day got training at 12pm. After that I went home and I was quite happy cause I thought I found a job, at last! But to my dismay, this was just the beginning of my discovery of how MLM works, the scam behind them and other stuff.
Day 2:
Arrived at the office at 12pm as stated. Went to a meeting room and there were 2 other girls there for the training as well. Then a woman approached us and bought some other product, that was different from yesterday. Then she talked again about how good the product is, blah blah blah for 2 hours. In my mind I'm like thinking, you tell me the product good I don't care man, I'm also not going to buy it. I wanna work...Then after that, the lady went away, then the guy who I contacted, came and told me he will be my team leader and I'm under him. I shall call him Mark (not real name) for easier reference. Mark continued to talk about the business, economy, market, steve jobs, leaders, java script, how java is not as famous as steve jobs but java is actually more important. Cause steve jobs can connect to people, etc. The front stage people more important that back stage people. People don't care what you invent, unless you can connect to them, etc. Talk for like 4 hours. Keep repeating the same stuff after he said everything in 1 hour. Exactly the same. Probably memorized it and just regurgitate it out. And the whole time he talked, he was frowning. No smile, no sense of humor. Just keep talking like a boss. Like I owned him 1 million dollar and he has to spend 4 hours telling me to return it to him.
After that, it was dinner time and we went to nearby coffee shop to eat. He didn't ordered anything cause he said he was not hungry. I ordered fish and chips. Then even when I was eating, he was just busy smsing on his phone, like I'm none existent. Then he said he got a call and he went to talk, until I ate finish then he come back. Then after that, he told me that I can start to sell the products, and the best people to sell it to are my relatives. Then he asked me to write down all my relatives and their number. I just remembered 2 on hand, so he asked me call those 2. Then he taught me to say in a manner. Cannot mention this, cannot mention that. If they ask what product, say very difficult to explain, need show, etc. Anyway, both of my relatives wasn't interested, thankfully cause if they did buy it, I would have indirectly cheated them unknowingly. Then after that, he continued talking to me till 9.30pm and I told him I got to leave cause going airport pick friend up. Then he said tmr got some talk by some big shot in their company at 11am. I told him I would be very tired, might not make it. Then he keep saying how important the meeting is, blah blah blah. I'm like thinking, ok...I doubt going to those meeting will help me get $$ anyway...waste of time.
Day 3:
Went back home after airport, slept after playing some games and woke up around 12pm. Went to did some research on the company and to my horror, I found many negative reports and true statements listed by people who worked there before. They knew all the big shot names, and the comments they made, etc. How fake everything is, how they didn't earn $$ and it's a waste of time. So I was in a dilemma. Still being hopeful, I told myself maybe those people are jealous, or they just suay, cannot earn $$. And one of them advise to get out of it while we still can, cause they'll keep calling you and persuade you if you try to quit. It gets even more difficult to quit the longer you're in it. I was quite afraid of it already. Anyway, I was going to play keyboard for wedding on that day and I just went to practice at the place at 3.30pm. Then the wedding ended at 7pm. Then went to Suntec to find my CG. Then while fellowshipping, I told them about this new job I had, and the company I worked it. Then, I began to see the truth. HW said she worked there before, then her mum bought the product but had back ache. CC said he worked there before also, and it was a failure. I thought to myself, that's it man, I don't wish to continue any further in this. Before this, I also asked God if this was the right job and I didn't feel any peace. Now I'm certain I'm gonna quit. So I sms Mark quite a long sms about quitting. Then I off my phone immediately, cause CC say they will call back and disturb one. I was so scared. Didn't dare on my phone till I reached home at midnight. Then went I on, got a lot of missed call from him and no sms. If what I said was false, he could sms me. Why need to call? Cause I think he wanted to psycho me over the phone. Then 1 am, he called again. I was stunned, such a late hour still call. Of course, I didn't pick up. Then, I went to change my sim card to my brother's phone and diverted his call. LOL!!! Best thing I ever did, seriously. But it was still not over.
Day 4:
He knew I had a friend working there, cause I went to talked to my friend in the office the other day. So he probably asked my friend to call me. My friend (not really friend, just a sergeant in the same camp as me) smsed me to call him back. I didn't reply him till today. Oh man, they are really despo and crazy. First time got someone wanna call me so badly, lol. On the same day, read this newspaper on an MLM called sunshine empire and the director got sued cause he cheated 180 million dollars from the people. Jailed for 9 years. And my mum got cheated too, $7000. She was super upset and angry. From that day on, I told myself never never ever to trust MLM again. Twice bitten, never want to get bitten again.
And that's the end of the whole story.
In the end, I'm still jobless but I'm glad I made the right decision. And it's cause I don't have a job, that I'm able to have the time to catch up on my bible reading. Came back from Australia and lagging behind badly. Now I'm already at Revelations, gonna complete it tmr! ^^
I know my God will provide for me, and I'm just gonna trust in Him.
Faith:
Forsaking All, I Trust Him.
ORD LOH!!!
Yes it's finally over, 1 years 10 months of bondage. Ok when the day we ORD, we were super excited and emotional, etc. But after 2 weeks, most of the feelings are gone. And, it's back to reality...no job no $$. Seriously need a job, but I don't want to compromise and lower my standard of getting $6 per hour. And just when I entered the working world, already experienced the harshness and malice of it. Went to this MLM (multi-level marketing) company (shall not list it out as there is a lot of google search on it and I don't want to be found talking about it; not very nice too) and initially, I was quite ok-ok with it. I mean, I already knew what sort of thing they do, but I optimistically told myself, just join, no harm trying. So this was what happen for the 3 days. (quitted after 3 days cause I didn't want to walk down the slippery slope)
Day 1:
There was an advertisement featured about vacation job, $600 for 2 weeks and I was pretty much enticed by the good pay. Went to contact the person and he asked me whether I could go for an interview in the afternoon at 2pm. I said ok, then he hanged up without telling me further details. I didn't even know what I was going to do as the advertisement didn't state anything else. So I went to ______ and when I arrived in the office, they told me to sit down with another 3 girls that were looking for the same job as I am. Then I expected, as like usual interviews, they will ask me questions about myself, my resume, my qualifications, etc. (I even brought my O and A level certificate and graduation files -.-...heavy can.) Instead, they immediately said they show us some _______ products and did some experiments to show us that it works. I'm like, wow cool. Cause I'm a very logical and scientific person, if they can convince me through science, I will most likely accept it. I asked if the products or company got any complains, they said no. Then after that they kept talking about their company, the MLM system, how much $$ we can earn, how we can earn $$ without working, how can this, that , this that. All the way I'm just listening and nodding my head when necessary. Didn't even give me chance to talk back. Then after that, he asked if I would consider working for them? Then I said ok. Then he said the next day got training at 12pm. After that I went home and I was quite happy cause I thought I found a job, at last! But to my dismay, this was just the beginning of my discovery of how MLM works, the scam behind them and other stuff.
Day 2:
Arrived at the office at 12pm as stated. Went to a meeting room and there were 2 other girls there for the training as well. Then a woman approached us and bought some other product, that was different from yesterday. Then she talked again about how good the product is, blah blah blah for 2 hours. In my mind I'm like thinking, you tell me the product good I don't care man, I'm also not going to buy it. I wanna work...Then after that, the lady went away, then the guy who I contacted, came and told me he will be my team leader and I'm under him. I shall call him Mark (not real name) for easier reference. Mark continued to talk about the business, economy, market, steve jobs, leaders, java script, how java is not as famous as steve jobs but java is actually more important. Cause steve jobs can connect to people, etc. The front stage people more important that back stage people. People don't care what you invent, unless you can connect to them, etc. Talk for like 4 hours. Keep repeating the same stuff after he said everything in 1 hour. Exactly the same. Probably memorized it and just regurgitate it out. And the whole time he talked, he was frowning. No smile, no sense of humor. Just keep talking like a boss. Like I owned him 1 million dollar and he has to spend 4 hours telling me to return it to him.
After that, it was dinner time and we went to nearby coffee shop to eat. He didn't ordered anything cause he said he was not hungry. I ordered fish and chips. Then even when I was eating, he was just busy smsing on his phone, like I'm none existent. Then he said he got a call and he went to talk, until I ate finish then he come back. Then after that, he told me that I can start to sell the products, and the best people to sell it to are my relatives. Then he asked me to write down all my relatives and their number. I just remembered 2 on hand, so he asked me call those 2. Then he taught me to say in a manner. Cannot mention this, cannot mention that. If they ask what product, say very difficult to explain, need show, etc. Anyway, both of my relatives wasn't interested, thankfully cause if they did buy it, I would have indirectly cheated them unknowingly. Then after that, he continued talking to me till 9.30pm and I told him I got to leave cause going airport pick friend up. Then he said tmr got some talk by some big shot in their company at 11am. I told him I would be very tired, might not make it. Then he keep saying how important the meeting is, blah blah blah. I'm like thinking, ok...I doubt going to those meeting will help me get $$ anyway...waste of time.
Day 3:
Went back home after airport, slept after playing some games and woke up around 12pm. Went to did some research on the company and to my horror, I found many negative reports and true statements listed by people who worked there before. They knew all the big shot names, and the comments they made, etc. How fake everything is, how they didn't earn $$ and it's a waste of time. So I was in a dilemma. Still being hopeful, I told myself maybe those people are jealous, or they just suay, cannot earn $$. And one of them advise to get out of it while we still can, cause they'll keep calling you and persuade you if you try to quit. It gets even more difficult to quit the longer you're in it. I was quite afraid of it already. Anyway, I was going to play keyboard for wedding on that day and I just went to practice at the place at 3.30pm. Then the wedding ended at 7pm. Then went to Suntec to find my CG. Then while fellowshipping, I told them about this new job I had, and the company I worked it. Then, I began to see the truth. HW said she worked there before, then her mum bought the product but had back ache. CC said he worked there before also, and it was a failure. I thought to myself, that's it man, I don't wish to continue any further in this. Before this, I also asked God if this was the right job and I didn't feel any peace. Now I'm certain I'm gonna quit. So I sms Mark quite a long sms about quitting. Then I off my phone immediately, cause CC say they will call back and disturb one. I was so scared. Didn't dare on my phone till I reached home at midnight. Then went I on, got a lot of missed call from him and no sms. If what I said was false, he could sms me. Why need to call? Cause I think he wanted to psycho me over the phone. Then 1 am, he called again. I was stunned, such a late hour still call. Of course, I didn't pick up. Then, I went to change my sim card to my brother's phone and diverted his call. LOL!!! Best thing I ever did, seriously. But it was still not over.
Day 4:
He knew I had a friend working there, cause I went to talked to my friend in the office the other day. So he probably asked my friend to call me. My friend (not really friend, just a sergeant in the same camp as me) smsed me to call him back. I didn't reply him till today. Oh man, they are really despo and crazy. First time got someone wanna call me so badly, lol. On the same day, read this newspaper on an MLM called sunshine empire and the director got sued cause he cheated 180 million dollars from the people. Jailed for 9 years. And my mum got cheated too, $7000. She was super upset and angry. From that day on, I told myself never never ever to trust MLM again. Twice bitten, never want to get bitten again.
And that's the end of the whole story.
In the end, I'm still jobless but I'm glad I made the right decision. And it's cause I don't have a job, that I'm able to have the time to catch up on my bible reading. Came back from Australia and lagging behind badly. Now I'm already at Revelations, gonna complete it tmr! ^^
I know my God will provide for me, and I'm just gonna trust in Him.
Faith:
Forsaking All, I Trust Him.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Once again, I'm back to my good old blog. And yes I do love long posts, so I decided to blog only once in a while, hahah =)
Just to describe my current state, I'm on a ORD mode/mood and it's gonna go on like this for the next 21 days. It's super slack and I'm loving it. Skip breakfast, wake up at 7.30am for first parade, go back sleep till lunch 11.30am, go back sleep till dinner 5.30pm, go sleep all the way with occasional reading books/playing DS, bathing/brushing teeth/etc. No one to tell us what to do, it's freedom within the ironical four walls of camp.
Many people have been asking me how's Australia been, and it's hard to say what happened in 6 weeks in just a few minutes. And neither do I want to type out all the details here cause it will be a harangue, if not drop dead boring. So I'm just gonna do a summary. (Been like since A levels the last time I did a summary, lol.)
My trip to Australia can be split into 2 part basically, frame 1 and frame 2. For frame 1, it was the tougher part as our battalion had to fight our ATEC a.k.a final year exams in students' term. It was a long and arduous 3 weeks, but relatively better compared to last year as we were going to ORD and we were given better welfare. For frame 2, our whole battalion flew back to Singapore except 20 of us who were told to stay back to help become EU players and another 10+ to go outfield to support a reservist brigade.
For me, I was part of the 20 chosen to become EU players. We were told to play a software called ATLAS, a simulation for the trainings taking place in the army. In reality, when a tank moves, the tank in the software also moves via the satellite. It's really cool to see the big picture. Usually we are outfield and we only see the enemy when they're in sight. Now, we get to see the whole brigade with 100 over tanks, 1000 over people, etc.
So, our job was simple. Just to update the officers if there are any changes and if we spotted any enemies. We did a 12-hour shift and I did the shift from 12pm-12am. Since they only needed us during the duration of the exercise which was 6 days 5 nights, the rest of the frame were spent slacking.
Before long, we flew back to Singapore. Really miss this place, my loved ones, my friends, church, the food, the scenery, every ounce of this island. Absence do make the heart grow fonder. My heart for Singapore has grown bigger. I love this country a lot, and even though I don't like being in the army, I know it is quintessential to maintain the peace and security in this country.
After being in the army for 1 year 9 months and nearing to ORD, army isn't so tough after all. The toughest part in army for me, is the people, not the training. I don't mind going through commando BMT again for 2 years, if I can do it with all my best friends. Conversely, if I get to be a clerk but have to work and get surrounded by people who will make life a living hell for me every single day, I rather transfer out of that place. Nevertheless, it is this place that taught me how to deal with people of different walks in life. They say the working world is similar to the army world. It's really up to one's perspective and what kind of job we get in the future. At least if you get a job in which everyone hates you, you can simply quit. In army, there is no 'quit' button. Only suck thumb, lol.
So glad it's all gonna be over soon.
Days to ORD: 21
Just to describe my current state, I'm on a ORD mode/mood and it's gonna go on like this for the next 21 days. It's super slack and I'm loving it. Skip breakfast, wake up at 7.30am for first parade, go back sleep till lunch 11.30am, go back sleep till dinner 5.30pm, go sleep all the way with occasional reading books/playing DS, bathing/brushing teeth/etc. No one to tell us what to do, it's freedom within the ironical four walls of camp.
Many people have been asking me how's Australia been, and it's hard to say what happened in 6 weeks in just a few minutes. And neither do I want to type out all the details here cause it will be a harangue, if not drop dead boring. So I'm just gonna do a summary. (Been like since A levels the last time I did a summary, lol.)
My trip to Australia can be split into 2 part basically, frame 1 and frame 2. For frame 1, it was the tougher part as our battalion had to fight our ATEC a.k.a final year exams in students' term. It was a long and arduous 3 weeks, but relatively better compared to last year as we were going to ORD and we were given better welfare. For frame 2, our whole battalion flew back to Singapore except 20 of us who were told to stay back to help become EU players and another 10+ to go outfield to support a reservist brigade.
For me, I was part of the 20 chosen to become EU players. We were told to play a software called ATLAS, a simulation for the trainings taking place in the army. In reality, when a tank moves, the tank in the software also moves via the satellite. It's really cool to see the big picture. Usually we are outfield and we only see the enemy when they're in sight. Now, we get to see the whole brigade with 100 over tanks, 1000 over people, etc.
So, our job was simple. Just to update the officers if there are any changes and if we spotted any enemies. We did a 12-hour shift and I did the shift from 12pm-12am. Since they only needed us during the duration of the exercise which was 6 days 5 nights, the rest of the frame were spent slacking.
Before long, we flew back to Singapore. Really miss this place, my loved ones, my friends, church, the food, the scenery, every ounce of this island. Absence do make the heart grow fonder. My heart for Singapore has grown bigger. I love this country a lot, and even though I don't like being in the army, I know it is quintessential to maintain the peace and security in this country.
After being in the army for 1 year 9 months and nearing to ORD, army isn't so tough after all. The toughest part in army for me, is the people, not the training. I don't mind going through commando BMT again for 2 years, if I can do it with all my best friends. Conversely, if I get to be a clerk but have to work and get surrounded by people who will make life a living hell for me every single day, I rather transfer out of that place. Nevertheless, it is this place that taught me how to deal with people of different walks in life. They say the working world is similar to the army world. It's really up to one's perspective and what kind of job we get in the future. At least if you get a job in which everyone hates you, you can simply quit. In army, there is no 'quit' button. Only suck thumb, lol.
So glad it's all gonna be over soon.
Days to ORD: 21
Monday, September 12, 2011
Been a while since I last blogged, maybe the reason is...I like long posts? Haha =X
Anyway, continuing from the last post, I got my marksmanship badge and $200. =)
Then after that...I can't really remember all that has happened for the past 6 weeks.
Just want to say this from my heart, that even though it might sound a bit emo, but it's what I've been thinking and going through in my camp.
The people in the world out there are totally unlike people in church; church is a really nice and safe haven that I always longed to go and I'm always looking forward to the weekend.
Somehow, the golden rule, do unto others what you want others to do unto you, isn't applicable in army. I mean I realized that in BMT already but like what Dr A.R Bernard said, that we being people of faith, always look for the best and even when we are out rightly deceived and lied to by people around us, we still want to believe in them.
There are some people that have 90% of the words they say that are false, till the point that I don't even know whether they are telling the truth or not, be it how convincing it may sound. But still I trust them and get taken advantage of, make used of, make fun of, bullied verbally (thank God fighting is a chargeable offense and will be sent to DB).
And I have been suppressing all my frustrations and anger for the past 1 year, cause it seems so insignificant on its own individual event, that I never would have thought it possible for it to be accumulated till the point that I suddenly burst out when one guy make fun of me and it became an ugly scene and the whole company saw it. The other guy tried to punch me but I just backed off and we were both super heated. I wasn't thinking sensibly at that moment. But after that, I went to talk to him and I apologized to him first and it was resolved.
But after the whole incident, it made me realize something. One of my camp mate once said, "You Christians are so naive and gullible, always so good to others, then let people take advantage."
I think it's true to a certain extent. We try so hard to please everyone, but fail miserably. Cause there will always be someone, anyone, who think that everything we do is wrong. I tried so hard to be the good guy in every situation, tried to please my CSM, tried to please my sergeants, my platoon mates, etc. Frankly, I really really really really tired of trying to please them all. Cause there are so many politics and backstabbing going around, these group don't like that group, person A don't like person B, etc. Then I try to side both, but one day, when the both come together, what will happen? It's a rhetorical question. The answer is obvious. I die.
So then, must we always be likeable to everyone? I think not. In the bible, Jesus himself had people who didn't like him, the scribes and pharisee mainly. Because He knows who to please, he knows what to do, and that is the obey and please Father God.
I don't really care if there are people who don't like me, people who you think are your friends but in reality, are not. Cause when you need help and you are in trouble, they are the first one to flee. That's why, I don't really have very close outside friends. Cause not many of them will be there when I need help or when I'm feeling down. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.
But one thing I do, I want to do the things that will please God. I used to be afraid of people saying bad things about me when I'm not like that, to be judged even before you could say or do anything. Like when one of them said, "you slacker, didn't know you so slack" when I just taking a short 5 mins break when he himself have been resting the whole time. It gets very annoying sometimes. I mean like, even if I'm really slacking, you still get same pay, why are you even complaining? Hello??? Wake up your idea please.
But the saddest thing is, when you do more and you try to be hardworking, people say these kind of words that really hurt a lot. If I really am slacking, those words won't mean anything.
That's why, it is important to know who to please.
Just want to say, I'm human too. I have feelings, I have emotions, I have a limit to my tolerance. Don't treat me like a robot. Even though I do wish my tolerance has no limit, so I could endure anything that comes my way, but sadly, I don't.
Sorry God for letting you down when I couldn't control myself. But it is through times like this that I know I can't do it on my own; with my own strength it is impossible. But with God, all things are possible. The word 'with' connotes partnership. I do my part, God do His part. I'll build my patience, my long suffering, my tolerance, cause I know that there will be greater trials and tribulations ahead and I want to be an overcomer.
Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
One thing I learned in this walk with God, is that the life of a Christian isn't a bed of roses. There will be tough times but the good news is, God will be with us during those times.
Days to ORD: 81 (time really flies)
Anyway, continuing from the last post, I got my marksmanship badge and $200. =)
Then after that...I can't really remember all that has happened for the past 6 weeks.
Just want to say this from my heart, that even though it might sound a bit emo, but it's what I've been thinking and going through in my camp.
The people in the world out there are totally unlike people in church; church is a really nice and safe haven that I always longed to go and I'm always looking forward to the weekend.
Somehow, the golden rule, do unto others what you want others to do unto you, isn't applicable in army. I mean I realized that in BMT already but like what Dr A.R Bernard said, that we being people of faith, always look for the best and even when we are out rightly deceived and lied to by people around us, we still want to believe in them.
There are some people that have 90% of the words they say that are false, till the point that I don't even know whether they are telling the truth or not, be it how convincing it may sound. But still I trust them and get taken advantage of, make used of, make fun of, bullied verbally (thank God fighting is a chargeable offense and will be sent to DB).
And I have been suppressing all my frustrations and anger for the past 1 year, cause it seems so insignificant on its own individual event, that I never would have thought it possible for it to be accumulated till the point that I suddenly burst out when one guy make fun of me and it became an ugly scene and the whole company saw it. The other guy tried to punch me but I just backed off and we were both super heated. I wasn't thinking sensibly at that moment. But after that, I went to talk to him and I apologized to him first and it was resolved.
But after the whole incident, it made me realize something. One of my camp mate once said, "You Christians are so naive and gullible, always so good to others, then let people take advantage."
I think it's true to a certain extent. We try so hard to please everyone, but fail miserably. Cause there will always be someone, anyone, who think that everything we do is wrong. I tried so hard to be the good guy in every situation, tried to please my CSM, tried to please my sergeants, my platoon mates, etc. Frankly, I really really really really tired of trying to please them all. Cause there are so many politics and backstabbing going around, these group don't like that group, person A don't like person B, etc. Then I try to side both, but one day, when the both come together, what will happen? It's a rhetorical question. The answer is obvious. I die.
So then, must we always be likeable to everyone? I think not. In the bible, Jesus himself had people who didn't like him, the scribes and pharisee mainly. Because He knows who to please, he knows what to do, and that is the obey and please Father God.
I don't really care if there are people who don't like me, people who you think are your friends but in reality, are not. Cause when you need help and you are in trouble, they are the first one to flee. That's why, I don't really have very close outside friends. Cause not many of them will be there when I need help or when I'm feeling down. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.
But one thing I do, I want to do the things that will please God. I used to be afraid of people saying bad things about me when I'm not like that, to be judged even before you could say or do anything. Like when one of them said, "you slacker, didn't know you so slack" when I just taking a short 5 mins break when he himself have been resting the whole time. It gets very annoying sometimes. I mean like, even if I'm really slacking, you still get same pay, why are you even complaining? Hello??? Wake up your idea please.
But the saddest thing is, when you do more and you try to be hardworking, people say these kind of words that really hurt a lot. If I really am slacking, those words won't mean anything.
That's why, it is important to know who to please.
Just want to say, I'm human too. I have feelings, I have emotions, I have a limit to my tolerance. Don't treat me like a robot. Even though I do wish my tolerance has no limit, so I could endure anything that comes my way, but sadly, I don't.
Sorry God for letting you down when I couldn't control myself. But it is through times like this that I know I can't do it on my own; with my own strength it is impossible. But with God, all things are possible. The word 'with' connotes partnership. I do my part, God do His part. I'll build my patience, my long suffering, my tolerance, cause I know that there will be greater trials and tribulations ahead and I want to be an overcomer.
Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
One thing I learned in this walk with God, is that the life of a Christian isn't a bed of roses. There will be tough times but the good news is, God will be with us during those times.
Days to ORD: 81 (time really flies)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
God is good all the time, in spite of prayers not being answered. Why is that so? Cause sometimes our prayers are not in the will of God, or God has another plan that will work out even better, or simply, God is sovereign. Many people, including Christians, fail to understand the last point. Imagine person A prayed for something reasonably realistic and reachable, say to pass for a maths test. Then when he fails, he blame God, blame teachers, blame school, education, etc. Blame everyone except for himself. I mean, think about it. If God has to answer every prayers at your whim and fancy, that will make us the gods instead and Him, our tool. So people complain God is bad when he don't answer prayers? Seems ridiculous to me. He can as a matter of fact, take away your life anytime He wants to. Then you won't have to complain and worry about anything anymore, if that's what you want.
Personally, I prayed for a marksmanship score of 32/40 for my combat shoot last Friday. I was quite hyped up and full of faith, kept confessing the verse about asking and you will receive. So I asked God for His blessing for accuracy. For the day shoot, we were told to get as high a score as possible cause night shoot will be very difficult. The results were out and I got 15/20 individually, team score of 17.5/20. My first reaction? Definitely disappointed cause it's a team effort and my other teammates got like 20, 17, 20, 20, 15, 13. All those who got 20 blamed us for pulling the average down and lessening the chance to get marksman. So I was feeling frustrated and guilty also. How come I didn't get 20? I prayed every single day the past week for this combat shoot and this happened. But after that, a voice spoke to me, 'don't lose hope, this is not the end. There is still the night shoot.' It was a mind battle. Part of me was like "C'mon, you can't even do well at day, and you think you'll do better at night? Dream on." Another part was like "With God, all things are possible."
So I continued believing and went for the night shoot. True enough, I got 17/20 for night shoot and a team average score of 14.5/20, even though someone in our team scored 4/20.( Yes it's that hard for some people) The rest of us did well, with score of 17,18,17,17,4,14. Our total score was exactly 32/40, just what I prayed for. I was like, wow. Slept in bunk with a smile that night, lol. Just need 7/8 for next Tuesday InAD shoot and $200 is mine! =)
But hypothetically, say if God didn't answer my prayer and I get less than 32/40, it still doesn't matter. He is sovereign, He can choose whether or not to answer my prayer. $200? Forget it. He will probably bless me more than that in the future.
Daniel 3:16-18
Shadrach, Meshack and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, "O Nebuchadenezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.
Indeed, even if the world caved in around me, even if I lose everything in life, I want to have the attitude of those three people. That God is still God no matter what happens in life. He is my Lord.
Days to ORD: 129
Personally, I prayed for a marksmanship score of 32/40 for my combat shoot last Friday. I was quite hyped up and full of faith, kept confessing the verse about asking and you will receive. So I asked God for His blessing for accuracy. For the day shoot, we were told to get as high a score as possible cause night shoot will be very difficult. The results were out and I got 15/20 individually, team score of 17.5/20. My first reaction? Definitely disappointed cause it's a team effort and my other teammates got like 20, 17, 20, 20, 15, 13. All those who got 20 blamed us for pulling the average down and lessening the chance to get marksman. So I was feeling frustrated and guilty also. How come I didn't get 20? I prayed every single day the past week for this combat shoot and this happened. But after that, a voice spoke to me, 'don't lose hope, this is not the end. There is still the night shoot.' It was a mind battle. Part of me was like "C'mon, you can't even do well at day, and you think you'll do better at night? Dream on." Another part was like "With God, all things are possible."
So I continued believing and went for the night shoot. True enough, I got 17/20 for night shoot and a team average score of 14.5/20, even though someone in our team scored 4/20.( Yes it's that hard for some people) The rest of us did well, with score of 17,18,17,17,4,14. Our total score was exactly 32/40, just what I prayed for. I was like, wow. Slept in bunk with a smile that night, lol. Just need 7/8 for next Tuesday InAD shoot and $200 is mine! =)
But hypothetically, say if God didn't answer my prayer and I get less than 32/40, it still doesn't matter. He is sovereign, He can choose whether or not to answer my prayer. $200? Forget it. He will probably bless me more than that in the future.
Daniel 3:16-18
Shadrach, Meshack and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, "O Nebuchadenezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.
Indeed, even if the world caved in around me, even if I lose everything in life, I want to have the attitude of those three people. That God is still God no matter what happens in life. He is my Lord.
Days to ORD: 129
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Last week was like one of my best and happiest weeks I ever had. Couldn't go to sleep on Friday and can't sleep now too cause I was thinking through Friday's night. It's really a great privilege to play on stage and I'm really really happy to be able to do, thanks to Kelvin, Edwin and ultimately, God for giving me the opportunity to do so.
Even though we didn't get 3rd place, I'm glad that the presence of God was tangible and in fact, I was so engrossed in worship that I closed my eyes and didn't see the hand signal to cut off, lol! Then I only did so when I heard Jonah say "Stop stop stop!" I was like, Opps!!! =X Nevertheless, I think we did well as a whole. Thanks Edwin, Jodie, muso, singers and dancers! =)
Thank You God for making all these possible. I never would have imagine playing on stage at this age. I thought, maybe when I'm much older, like 25, when I'm out of army and get more experience and training first. I know that skills wise, some bands are better so it's really by the grace of God we got in.
Now, I'm another step closer to fulfilling my dream. It's amazing what God can do if we put whatever we have in our hands into His hands. I like what Jayesslee put at the bottom of their introduction in facebook, - All glory be to God -.
Eph 3:20-21
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Days to ORD: 143
Even though we didn't get 3rd place, I'm glad that the presence of God was tangible and in fact, I was so engrossed in worship that I closed my eyes and didn't see the hand signal to cut off, lol! Then I only did so when I heard Jonah say "Stop stop stop!" I was like, Opps!!! =X Nevertheless, I think we did well as a whole. Thanks Edwin, Jodie, muso, singers and dancers! =)
Thank You God for making all these possible. I never would have imagine playing on stage at this age. I thought, maybe when I'm much older, like 25, when I'm out of army and get more experience and training first. I know that skills wise, some bands are better so it's really by the grace of God we got in.
Now, I'm another step closer to fulfilling my dream. It's amazing what God can do if we put whatever we have in our hands into His hands. I like what Jayesslee put at the bottom of their introduction in facebook, - All glory be to God -.
Eph 3:20-21
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Days to ORD: 143
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Am really grateful to God last week caused He saved me once again.
On Tuesday, I left my vehicle logbook unattended while I went to arrange my vehicle items. And I didn't know it went missing until the next morning when I tried to find it everywhere; my locker, my black sling bag, sect comm bag, civilian bag, the inside of the vehicle, the vehicle cage, etc. I was like perspiring profusely cause I walked like up and down the stairs from my bunk to the parade square and back and forth from coy line to the vehicle shed (approximately 500m) for idk how many times. And in my head I couldn't think properly. Because in less than 30 minutes time, we had to leave for the forest for a 2 days 1 night field camp and I need the book in order to move out. So I was like...God only you can help me this time. I pray that someone that I know found it and reported it, and not let any of the officers or CSM find out cause it is an offense akin to losing your rifle and the punishment is 14 days confinement in camp. Argh....
And God saved me once again cause one of the sergeants found it in a place that I can't even recall visiting the previous day. So I was really shocked and overjoyed at the same time. Thank you God! =)
Really loved Dr A.R Bernard sermon, listened to both Saturday and Sunday one. It's really one good epic revelation, been quite a while since I listened and got so excited like this. I could feel my entire body vibes tingling and told Angel about it. Similarly she was in a wow and amazed look too, hahaha. Just one parable about the pearl of great price and there's so many thing to learn about. Can't imagine how much more things I need to learn more about the bible. Really helped me a lot in my situation cause I'm going through a lot in the army; everyday is a challenge and there is a risk of getting punished for 101 reasons and then spending weekends in camp or even worse, getting charged and having a black record.
He preached about storms and storms will happen regardless of what you do. It's a part and parcel of life. Recently been through a storm of obedience and was really feeling down, and questioned God why is this happening to me even though I didn't do a single thing wrong? Why am I always the scapegoat?
But when we are going through storm of obedience, you can be sure of God's supernatural intervention at the right moment, which is so true. Even though it sounds sadistic, I really want to go through more storms in life now. Lol! Of course, so that I can encounter and experience more of God in my life =)
Cause I know, my God is for me. He has been, and will always be. Even when we are faithless, He remains faithful.
Psalm 57:1
For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by.
Days to ORD: 154
On Tuesday, I left my vehicle logbook unattended while I went to arrange my vehicle items. And I didn't know it went missing until the next morning when I tried to find it everywhere; my locker, my black sling bag, sect comm bag, civilian bag, the inside of the vehicle, the vehicle cage, etc. I was like perspiring profusely cause I walked like up and down the stairs from my bunk to the parade square and back and forth from coy line to the vehicle shed (approximately 500m) for idk how many times. And in my head I couldn't think properly. Because in less than 30 minutes time, we had to leave for the forest for a 2 days 1 night field camp and I need the book in order to move out. So I was like...God only you can help me this time. I pray that someone that I know found it and reported it, and not let any of the officers or CSM find out cause it is an offense akin to losing your rifle and the punishment is 14 days confinement in camp. Argh....
And God saved me once again cause one of the sergeants found it in a place that I can't even recall visiting the previous day. So I was really shocked and overjoyed at the same time. Thank you God! =)
Really loved Dr A.R Bernard sermon, listened to both Saturday and Sunday one. It's really one good epic revelation, been quite a while since I listened and got so excited like this. I could feel my entire body vibes tingling and told Angel about it. Similarly she was in a wow and amazed look too, hahaha. Just one parable about the pearl of great price and there's so many thing to learn about. Can't imagine how much more things I need to learn more about the bible. Really helped me a lot in my situation cause I'm going through a lot in the army; everyday is a challenge and there is a risk of getting punished for 101 reasons and then spending weekends in camp or even worse, getting charged and having a black record.
He preached about storms and storms will happen regardless of what you do. It's a part and parcel of life. Recently been through a storm of obedience and was really feeling down, and questioned God why is this happening to me even though I didn't do a single thing wrong? Why am I always the scapegoat?
But when we are going through storm of obedience, you can be sure of God's supernatural intervention at the right moment, which is so true. Even though it sounds sadistic, I really want to go through more storms in life now. Lol! Of course, so that I can encounter and experience more of God in my life =)
Cause I know, my God is for me. He has been, and will always be. Even when we are faithless, He remains faithful.
Psalm 57:1
For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by.
Days to ORD: 154
Sunday, June 19, 2011
I just found out something amusing about myself today and told myself to blog it.
Just finished my father's day dinner celebration not long ago and while we were walking back home, I sort of asked a random question to my father:
Me: "Dad, was I as talkative as Glenn when I was younger?" (Cause he was talking non-stop about games to my mum, lol)
Dad: "*with some laughter in his tone* No, you were the exact opposite of him. When you're were in Sunday school at 5-6 years old, the teacher said you'll sit alone in the corner of the class. Then when you were primary 1, the teacher complained during parents' meeting session that no matter how much she forced you to sit beside a girl, you'll go the the back of the class and sit alone. Then you wouldn't talk to anyone in class."
Then the conversation continued but that's the main point.
I was like, lol?!?!?! Seriously!? Hahahhahaha! I didn't know I had this behavior even at such a young age. No wonder I was like that during the primary school years and lower secondary years until I went to Sharon CG and she taught me how to interact with people, especially girls.
I still not exactly comfortable talking to girls that I'm not close with, but at least I glad to say I have very good female friends, like Angel and Xin Ying.
After my conversation with my dad, I'm kinda interested in my childhood again. Cause I totally can't remember what happened before primary 5. It's like...blank. It's funny how sometimes we can be amused by our ownself, lol. Like trying to solve the puzzle and mystery of my life. The past, the present, and eventually the future.
I wonder what the future has in stall for me? With God, I'm sure it'll definitely be good. =)
Jer 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
No. of days to ORD: 164
Just finished my father's day dinner celebration not long ago and while we were walking back home, I sort of asked a random question to my father:
Me: "Dad, was I as talkative as Glenn when I was younger?" (Cause he was talking non-stop about games to my mum, lol)
Dad: "*with some laughter in his tone* No, you were the exact opposite of him. When you're were in Sunday school at 5-6 years old, the teacher said you'll sit alone in the corner of the class. Then when you were primary 1, the teacher complained during parents' meeting session that no matter how much she forced you to sit beside a girl, you'll go the the back of the class and sit alone. Then you wouldn't talk to anyone in class."
Then the conversation continued but that's the main point.
I was like, lol?!?!?! Seriously!? Hahahhahaha! I didn't know I had this behavior even at such a young age. No wonder I was like that during the primary school years and lower secondary years until I went to Sharon CG and she taught me how to interact with people, especially girls.
I still not exactly comfortable talking to girls that I'm not close with, but at least I glad to say I have very good female friends, like Angel and Xin Ying.
After my conversation with my dad, I'm kinda interested in my childhood again. Cause I totally can't remember what happened before primary 5. It's like...blank. It's funny how sometimes we can be amused by our ownself, lol. Like trying to solve the puzzle and mystery of my life. The past, the present, and eventually the future.
I wonder what the future has in stall for me? With God, I'm sure it'll definitely be good. =)
Jer 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
No. of days to ORD: 164
Saturday, June 11, 2011
This week has been a crazy week of CSM's bad mood.
Almost kena 3 extra weekend duty and confinement for one month cause of miscommunication between the sergeants and us. They pass wrong information, we did wrong stuff, and both of us get punished...
BUT GOD saved me and CSM just gave us a good 45 minutes scolding session instead of the above mentioned. One of the guys was so paranoid that he cried and broke his specs due to it. Then all the officers and sergeants went to talk to us to find out what happened. Then they went to pacify CSM and said it was just miscommunication. Even OC heard about it and then he talked to us for another 30 minutes, in a serious but kind tone that we need to communicate with each other more effectively.
Was so happy that I immediately went to bunk after the scolding session, closed my eyes and repeated 'Thank you God' like crazy, lol.
Romans 8:31
If God is for us, who can be against us?
And I know that He is for me, for all the goodness he have done in my life. Reminds me of the song, I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me, I know that You'll never forsake me in my weakness. =)
Because of that, I'm able to book out on Thursday and I'll be playing keyboard for KEL zone 1st ever youth camp on Sunday! So excited, like finally able to make one of my dream come true. Always wanted to play for our own zone after WYZ split. And now the musos are back~!
"We are muso, we are awesome and we can't be stop! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap, muso!"
Missed those awesome time of playing together with the 1st batch of muso back then for Inspire camp. But I believe, the latter will be better than the former. Can see the new muso rising up and now the 'older generation' trying to find successor. Thank God I found mine already. Edwin also found his. Wei sheng also. Now left..........Daniel ang and SK. Like no 1 want to learn Bass and electric guitar, lol. Hope there will be a willing soul to take up their place, haha.
Hmm guess that's all for this week, time to sleep. =)
Days to ORD: 172
Almost kena 3 extra weekend duty and confinement for one month cause of miscommunication between the sergeants and us. They pass wrong information, we did wrong stuff, and both of us get punished...
BUT GOD saved me and CSM just gave us a good 45 minutes scolding session instead of the above mentioned. One of the guys was so paranoid that he cried and broke his specs due to it. Then all the officers and sergeants went to talk to us to find out what happened. Then they went to pacify CSM and said it was just miscommunication. Even OC heard about it and then he talked to us for another 30 minutes, in a serious but kind tone that we need to communicate with each other more effectively.
Was so happy that I immediately went to bunk after the scolding session, closed my eyes and repeated 'Thank you God' like crazy, lol.
Romans 8:31
If God is for us, who can be against us?
And I know that He is for me, for all the goodness he have done in my life. Reminds me of the song, I know that You are for me, I know that You are for me, I know that You'll never forsake me in my weakness. =)
Because of that, I'm able to book out on Thursday and I'll be playing keyboard for KEL zone 1st ever youth camp on Sunday! So excited, like finally able to make one of my dream come true. Always wanted to play for our own zone after WYZ split. And now the musos are back~!
"We are muso, we are awesome and we can't be stop! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap, muso!"
Missed those awesome time of playing together with the 1st batch of muso back then for Inspire camp. But I believe, the latter will be better than the former. Can see the new muso rising up and now the 'older generation' trying to find successor. Thank God I found mine already. Edwin also found his. Wei sheng also. Now left..........Daniel ang and SK. Like no 1 want to learn Bass and electric guitar, lol. Hope there will be a willing soul to take up their place, haha.
Hmm guess that's all for this week, time to sleep. =)
Days to ORD: 172
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
This ought to be one of the weirdest time I'm blogging cause I'm on a nights out and have to book in at 2300. My main objective of coming house was to (it's gonna sound stupid, lol) get a roll of toilet paper cause someone stole mine while I was sleeping and I left my locker open. Was telling my buddy about it and we both laughed cause...of all the things in my locker, like money, Nitendo DS, MP3, etc. That person stole...toilet paper? Lol!
So came back home, and after taking my toilet paper, decided it was too early. Went to play some games and read manga and got bored. Then I was blog hopping and realized it's been sooo long since I last updated my own blog, lol.
Reason being, this is the place I vent all my frustrations for most of the bad things that happened to me in the army. But for the past few months, either there hasn't been much of those bad things, or my capacity has increased and what seemed to be bad in the past is now normal/endurable to me. Especially after getting my 1st extra duty, most of the other punishments seem like no kick, lol. Knocked it down? No problem. Get scolded and shouted in front of the whole company? No problem. Get arrowed to do dirty jobs? No problem. Get backstabbed, frontstabbed, sidestabbed by people around me? No problem.
Thank God for making me stronger than before. Now even when I heard some of us have to stay in Australia for 6 weeks for phase 2 of Wallaby while the rest of the people can fly back to Singapore after 3 weeks, and I'm one of those 'chosen ones', I don't really feel stressed out or anything. If it was last year, I would have gone crazy. Still remembered calling Chung last year at 12am midnight just the day before we packed our duffel bag to send to Australia. And I told him that I couldn't take it anymore and I wanna go crazy, lol!
Now I hereby proclaim that...this blog shall no longer be the avenue of venting my frustrations. Cause even I feel quite sian after reading all those posts, lol. No doubt I'll still feel downtrodden at times but I thank God I'm still alive everyday. The fact that I can live, is reason enough to be happy. =)
And now, it's only 183 more days to ORD! Can count down by events already. 5 more major events and it'll be all over. =)
1. 4NTM cycle 2- 31 may to 21 june
2. Battalion mission exercise cycle 4- 2nd week of june
3. 4NTM cycle 3- 19 july-2 august
4. Battalion mission exercise cycle 5- 3rd week of August
5. Wallaby Australia- 25 sept to 7 nov
Time to book in to camp, lol.
Days to ORD: 183
So came back home, and after taking my toilet paper, decided it was too early. Went to play some games and read manga and got bored. Then I was blog hopping and realized it's been sooo long since I last updated my own blog, lol.
Reason being, this is the place I vent all my frustrations for most of the bad things that happened to me in the army. But for the past few months, either there hasn't been much of those bad things, or my capacity has increased and what seemed to be bad in the past is now normal/endurable to me. Especially after getting my 1st extra duty, most of the other punishments seem like no kick, lol. Knocked it down? No problem. Get scolded and shouted in front of the whole company? No problem. Get arrowed to do dirty jobs? No problem. Get backstabbed, frontstabbed, sidestabbed by people around me? No problem.
Thank God for making me stronger than before. Now even when I heard some of us have to stay in Australia for 6 weeks for phase 2 of Wallaby while the rest of the people can fly back to Singapore after 3 weeks, and I'm one of those 'chosen ones', I don't really feel stressed out or anything. If it was last year, I would have gone crazy. Still remembered calling Chung last year at 12am midnight just the day before we packed our duffel bag to send to Australia. And I told him that I couldn't take it anymore and I wanna go crazy, lol!
Now I hereby proclaim that...this blog shall no longer be the avenue of venting my frustrations. Cause even I feel quite sian after reading all those posts, lol. No doubt I'll still feel downtrodden at times but I thank God I'm still alive everyday. The fact that I can live, is reason enough to be happy. =)
And now, it's only 183 more days to ORD! Can count down by events already. 5 more major events and it'll be all over. =)
1. 4NTM cycle 2- 31 may to 21 june
2. Battalion mission exercise cycle 4- 2nd week of june
3. 4NTM cycle 3- 19 july-2 august
4. Battalion mission exercise cycle 5- 3rd week of August
5. Wallaby Australia- 25 sept to 7 nov
Time to book in to camp, lol.
Days to ORD: 183
Saturday, February 12, 2011
I'm finally out of the spending season and now it's time to save $$ for the future. Amazingly I managed to spend less than $114.70 in 3 weeks the other time, which took a hell lot of self-control. No taxi, no indulging in food, no buying of necessary stuff. At least I proved to myself that was possible, hahahah.
Got quite a good harvest of ang baos this year, mainly from my parents. Don't think there'll be any high key spending events for the next few months so gonna save for the time after I ORD. Can't wait to ORD man, already thought of things I wanna do and the countries I'm gonna visit. Just need the time to pass...
This week is also the 1st week of the 2nd year I got enlisted. Could still recall this week of last week, in BMT, it was like crazy. Then compared to now, resting in bunk and not doing much training, really thank God I'm finally a 2nd year soldier. To all my juniors that got enlisted, all the best to them.
Valentine's Day is next Monday but I got no date. Lol it's super funny trying to be desperate in camp, asking my bunk mates to intro girls to me, hahahahah. In the end don't have any, lol. But I don't mind going out with a random stranger girl just for the tradition's sake, cause our OC gave us a free night's out for the whole company and I'm gonna spend it alone. Oh well, suck thumb for me~
And army is making my communication and relational skill deteriorating. Don't know what to say to my relatives sometimes during CNY and there will be like minutes of silence, very uncomfortable. Everyday spend in camp only know how to talk army stuff -.-...Too bad I'm the only NSF now and my brother is on an overseas exchange program for 6 months, so I got to spend CNY without him for the first time. Sometimes I wish I'm more like him, in the area of speaking. He knows the right thing to say to make the conversation more lively. That is one thing I need to train in life.
Once again a week is over, and the day to ORD is closer.
295 more days to ORD!
Got quite a good harvest of ang baos this year, mainly from my parents. Don't think there'll be any high key spending events for the next few months so gonna save for the time after I ORD. Can't wait to ORD man, already thought of things I wanna do and the countries I'm gonna visit. Just need the time to pass...
This week is also the 1st week of the 2nd year I got enlisted. Could still recall this week of last week, in BMT, it was like crazy. Then compared to now, resting in bunk and not doing much training, really thank God I'm finally a 2nd year soldier. To all my juniors that got enlisted, all the best to them.
Valentine's Day is next Monday but I got no date. Lol it's super funny trying to be desperate in camp, asking my bunk mates to intro girls to me, hahahahah. In the end don't have any, lol. But I don't mind going out with a random stranger girl just for the tradition's sake, cause our OC gave us a free night's out for the whole company and I'm gonna spend it alone. Oh well, suck thumb for me~
And army is making my communication and relational skill deteriorating. Don't know what to say to my relatives sometimes during CNY and there will be like minutes of silence, very uncomfortable. Everyday spend in camp only know how to talk army stuff -.-...Too bad I'm the only NSF now and my brother is on an overseas exchange program for 6 months, so I got to spend CNY without him for the first time. Sometimes I wish I'm more like him, in the area of speaking. He knows the right thing to say to make the conversation more lively. That is one thing I need to train in life.
Once again a week is over, and the day to ORD is closer.
295 more days to ORD!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Blogging is still the safest place for me to vent my frustrations and share my deep thoughts. I totally forgot that my father was my Facebook friend and he gave me a 20 mins counselling on the recent status I posted, lol!! Was like telling him blah blah blah happen in camp, I'm a normal human being and being a christian, I also occasionally feel down sometimes. He is more of those legalistic kind of christian, told me even if hell happened, must accept it, know that God is in charge of all this. Well, I know all God is, but sometimes being an imperfect being, bad things happen. =/ But I'm know that feeling angry/sad/moody isn't that bad, after all God created emotions for us to enjoy. I rather let it all out now than to suppress it and erupt like a volcano later. Hmm, speaking of which, I doubt anyone has seen me erupt yet, other than my younger brother whahahahaha!
Had enough of releasing my stress and frustrations in Facebook already, and additional dosage of laughter by watching The Ghosts Must be Crazy yesterday at JP. Reached home at 2am and for some reason couldn't sleep, manage to sleep only at 3am and woke up at 9am to go for PM at zac's house. Don't feel tired at all, guess my body is getting used to being fatigue. Which is a good thing. Changed my guitar strings to Elixir today and it's super awesome. I'm gonna buy Elixir from now on, lol.
It's like only 2 weeks into the New Year and I'm starting to love 2011. I'm like looking forward to everything that is going to happen in this year. Even in the army, only 2 more major events and it will be pretty much over. 4NTM from May to August and Ex Wallaby again from 25 sept to 17 Oct. The new sergeants, especially one sergeant in my platoon, is extremely nice to us. It's like a God-sent. He is super friendly, good-looking, welfare, and even help us block all the attacks from CSM and even when he gets scolded, he doesn't blame us. He also helps us to do the sai kang together and a lot more. My platoon sergeant also very caring to us and he don't give us extra job to do, only necessary things to do. But really feel sad for them to come to this company and suffer. 1st time in company history, the sergeants get knocked down by CSM. We were like shocked la. Shouted and scolded them and threaten to give them defaulters' parade. Sometimes he is just too rigid, but we can't do a thing. Oh well...
Army gave me a lot of insights into life. Sometimes I wonder if I didn't go through all this and directly enter the workforce, what will happen to me? I think within 1 month, I would have killed myself, lol. Still, even after 1 year, I haven't figure out how to stop people from talking to me when I don't want to talk to them. It's like I ignore them, never give any eye contact and when they call my name I only response by nodding my head cause if I don't (which I tried a few times), they will say 'Kao Pei, Dao me ah?' Still without fail they keep pestering me. Argh...
Sometimes knowing more people isn't really good. Sometimes I rather be alone than to be with the wrong company of people. Guess army is tough for me not because of the training, but because I have to see the people that I don't want to see for 5 days straight. Lol it's like having a thorn in your flesh but unable to remove it. Nevermind, I will live with it, suck thumb~ =X
Next thing that I'm looking forward to: Chinese New Year. Seriously need the ang baos. I'm like left with only $114.70 to spend for 3 weeks and I don't know how I manage to spend more than $200 in the past 2 weeks. Ok I think I got a rough item, taxi. Been taking cab everywhere I go, from home to camp, camp to home, to church, to pm, and later I MUST NOT take taxi to camp. Gonna leave my house early and take the bus!! Seriously someone ban me from taking cab man, lol! The week I was injured, I spent more than $150 purely on cab, getting from places to places.
Time to be money-conscious again.
Days to ORD: 322
Had enough of releasing my stress and frustrations in Facebook already, and additional dosage of laughter by watching The Ghosts Must be Crazy yesterday at JP. Reached home at 2am and for some reason couldn't sleep, manage to sleep only at 3am and woke up at 9am to go for PM at zac's house. Don't feel tired at all, guess my body is getting used to being fatigue. Which is a good thing. Changed my guitar strings to Elixir today and it's super awesome. I'm gonna buy Elixir from now on, lol.
It's like only 2 weeks into the New Year and I'm starting to love 2011. I'm like looking forward to everything that is going to happen in this year. Even in the army, only 2 more major events and it will be pretty much over. 4NTM from May to August and Ex Wallaby again from 25 sept to 17 Oct. The new sergeants, especially one sergeant in my platoon, is extremely nice to us. It's like a God-sent. He is super friendly, good-looking, welfare, and even help us block all the attacks from CSM and even when he gets scolded, he doesn't blame us. He also helps us to do the sai kang together and a lot more. My platoon sergeant also very caring to us and he don't give us extra job to do, only necessary things to do. But really feel sad for them to come to this company and suffer. 1st time in company history, the sergeants get knocked down by CSM. We were like shocked la. Shouted and scolded them and threaten to give them defaulters' parade. Sometimes he is just too rigid, but we can't do a thing. Oh well...
Army gave me a lot of insights into life. Sometimes I wonder if I didn't go through all this and directly enter the workforce, what will happen to me? I think within 1 month, I would have killed myself, lol. Still, even after 1 year, I haven't figure out how to stop people from talking to me when I don't want to talk to them. It's like I ignore them, never give any eye contact and when they call my name I only response by nodding my head cause if I don't (which I tried a few times), they will say 'Kao Pei, Dao me ah?' Still without fail they keep pestering me. Argh...
Sometimes knowing more people isn't really good. Sometimes I rather be alone than to be with the wrong company of people. Guess army is tough for me not because of the training, but because I have to see the people that I don't want to see for 5 days straight. Lol it's like having a thorn in your flesh but unable to remove it. Nevermind, I will live with it, suck thumb~ =X
Next thing that I'm looking forward to: Chinese New Year. Seriously need the ang baos. I'm like left with only $114.70 to spend for 3 weeks and I don't know how I manage to spend more than $200 in the past 2 weeks. Ok I think I got a rough item, taxi. Been taking cab everywhere I go, from home to camp, camp to home, to church, to pm, and later I MUST NOT take taxi to camp. Gonna leave my house early and take the bus!! Seriously someone ban me from taking cab man, lol! The week I was injured, I spent more than $150 purely on cab, getting from places to places.
Time to be money-conscious again.
Days to ORD: 322
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