Nostalgia

Just upload one song, Winter Sonata, to my blog. I guess it suits the mood really well. Loved this song very much, can say that it was love at first sight (not really sight but sound this time, haha). Realised that the decorations by the side of the blog is also redundant. So I shifted the tagbox there for convenience sake.

I really miss my childhood days. JC life is so different. Woke up at 6.30am today. But it was raining, so I went back to sleep. Then my father woke me up at 7.30am to ask whether I need not go to school today. I said, 'rain', hoping he will be able to infer. Thank God he managed to, so I went back to sleep without explaining myself further. In the end, I woke up at 8am and really didn't feel like going to school. In the end, I just did. Usually I cycle to school everyday but today, I guess the SOP must be broken somehow or another. Reluctantly, I got out of the house (of course, after the usual morning routine), and went to school; the lonely walk to school.

It was raining torrentially and it purely added the fuel to the fire, paradoxically since the weather was unbearably cold. Hated weathers like these. Oh well, how can a puny little human pit against the mighty wrath of nature? Inevitably, my whole socks and shoes were soaked. I was already late for lecture, so I thought I might as well skip it. Went to the toliet and used the hairdryer to dry myself. Then I went to the library to read 'Four Past Midnight' by Stephen King. I thought I spent 2 hours at the library, from 9am-11am. Then, went for civics at 11am, without a doubt, to slack. My civic tutor (also known as form teacher in secondary school) was telling stories again. I reckon he will make an excellent story teller, since he loves entertaining us with his stories of the past, current affairs, and almost everything under the sun.

Then it happened. This incident spoilt the whole day, not only for me, but for my whole group members. One of my group members, Kin Leong, told my teacher that he was afraid that we won't be able to complete our written report. Then the teacher began to chide the whole group, saying we might get E if we start work soon. Then my good friend, Jasper, began to scold Kin Leong for this and that, don't want to elaborate. Basically, it was a tense situation.

Then Jasper told me that the group wanted to come my house this sunday to do the written report. I told him I have church and he told me to skip church just one day, that 'You think you can get A by going to church?' Initially I wanted to retort back 'How can you say such hurtful remarks? I love church and yes, I place church higher than my studies. I don't bloody care if I get E,S or U for my project work or my promos or whatever. You guys can do without me. I don't care if you all get A and I'm the only guy getting a pathetic U.' But I thought of the consequences and guessed I shouldn't do that. Afterall, I am to be a testimony in my school. So, I just said 'Ok, I will try my best to help the group.'

Oh God, I know conflicts are inevitable in the real world. But, why so soon? I thought only the adult life will be plagued with such schism? How I wish I am a child forever. Being born on children's day didn't seem to make this come true. How I wish...

Still wishing,

Astarmist

E uikrd du pa lnoehk huf. Dra kenm E mega bnupypmo mega cusauha amca. Pid hu, hajan femm E ymmuf cilr
dnejeym syddanc pudran sa. Suja uh, vun huputo ghufc yhofyo. Fro civvan eh cemahla? Suja uh...

Hot News!!!

Edwin is finally attached! Hahaha, and I still remembered how the CGCs pestered him to quickly go find a partner and now it has come to pass right before our very eyes. Congratulations to Edwin and Rae!!! May God's blessings and favour come upon the both of you. =)

Sunday was extremely fun and funny. Rae came early to our CG to visit Edwin, so Edwin wanted to do likewise. Since, Rae's CG is in Yung Ho road, which is near lakeside and coincidentally, my house, Edwin took 99 with me. Actually I wanted to photocopy my survey but he told me to be reproduce it. Thanks Edwin for your advice, it turned out well ^^. So we took 98 to lakeside MRT instead, where Rae's CG was. Then, we were like secret agents at that moment, trying not to blow our cover and silently slipping in, waiting for the right time to pounce on the target. Of course, I was the jr.detective who stayed at the back, in case anything goes wrong.

Unfortunately, or not, Issac saw us running from the bus stop and behind Cheers. He then beckoned us to follow him and signalled to us where Rae was. When the CG saw Edwin, they were giggling non-stop and cheering unanimously, hahahahaha. Then the 2 of them went infront, like lovebirds, when we stood behind, not wanting to interrupt their 'er ren shi jie'.

Pin De was also in their CG and we caught up on alot, since he went for the mission trip in Kuching. Apparently, he also have a 'hot' topic during his stay there, lol. My CGL is getting attached, my IC is getting chased by girls, and here I am. Hahaha, I don't know if I should laugh or cry but who cares, lol. Guess that 'like leader, like disciple' doesn't always apply in every context.

Didn't feel like going school today, who does? Maybe in my past, yes. But surprisingly, I have changed quite a lot. Pon PE, GP and Econs, all in one day. Of course, I didn't do it alone. I was being pulled along by one of my classmate. As the saying goes, it takes two hands to clap. So we were like, 'If you pon then I also pon lor.' In the end both of us pon, haha. So I attended school only for one lesson, which was maths.

Went to the library from 12pm and saw this book, 'One more day' by Mitch Albem. I remembered him as the famous author of the book 'Five people you will meet in heaven' and so I thought it would be an interesting book. Really good book, got hooked onto it instantly.

A book is good not only when the usuage of the English Language is good, but when it is able to connect to you; you feel like part of the story and you can 'feel' the story. My friend left at 3pm but I was determined to finish the book before leaving. So in the end, I read till 5pm. It was quite slow, given that the book is rather thin. But I read word for word, and every word just sinked into my heart so deeply. Nearly cried, but felt that it would be rather awkward to do so in the library.

Haven do my maths tutorial yet, gonna complete it before going to sleep. So long...

Signing off,

Astarmist

Ignorance is bliss ^^

I just love this phrase. Used it countless of times in my conversation with people, but seldom in essay as it would be hard to justifiy in the latter. But, seriously, I can't recall when or where I encountered this famous phrase. Perhaps in a comic book, lol. =D

And then, I used it again today. Didn't go for Econs make-up, well, didn't even know that there is one. So, ignorance is truly bliss, haha. I sort of give up on Econs already. Furthermore, I just need to pass my H2 subjects to get promoted and that seems rather easy for now. Pray that promos would be easy. Hehe...

Had Chemistry and Physics 'A' Level Spa today. My friends were like 'Wow, Imba ownage, both on the same day. GlHF...' I was replying 'Don't worry, like this then got kick, lol.' And it turned out to be easy. Had 30 mins left for chemistry spa and I was playing with octan-1-ol and the lighter. Then the wick caught fire and my teacher was screaming at me. Super funny, hahahahah. Then physics spa was surprisely easy; I thought physics is the most difficult spa of all. Had 40 mins left. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, my arm was numb -.-...Everyone also fell asleep. I guess SPA is owned this time. =)

Going to EXPO to watch Money Not Enough2 this sunday. $15 for the ticket and shirt. Mathematically, it is not value-worth at all. But I guess the time of fellowship is worth more than money can afford. And, I wonder what kind of T-shirt it will be...Better wash it throughoutly before wearing 0.o...

Lastly, I have to disappoint lots of my project work mates cause they wanna do survey and interview on weekends but I have church and CG. So I told them I will do all the work I can on weekdays. Guess this will reflect badly on my I&R. Oh God, please give me the favor of man...

My Dota skills is deproving...got owned just now...argh. Isn't it ironic that the more I play, the worse I get? Bleachx...

Signing off,

Astarmist

Even when the mountain trembles and a thousand falls

I will stand with you

My Jesus

Take my all

Live Your Dream

This title brings back lots and lots of memories. It was the theme of the drama which I once took part last year. WYZ zone has exposed me to many wonderful journeys, some of which are significant and well, some are pretty sweet too =). Nothing much going on in the zone after Inspire camp though. Hope there will be something exciting coming up...like a musical or drama or anything thats fun, lol.

Got back my overall results, which comprises of 60% of the final mark. All I can say is,there is still room for improvements.

A-70+, B-65-69, C-60-64, D-55-59, E-50-54, S-45-49, U-<45

H2 subjects

Chemistry-A with PES

Maths-A

Physics-E

H1 subjects

Economics-S

General Paper-C

Chinese-Not included, cause taking A level this year

Didn't expect JC physics to be so tough. Imagine, the whole level average is an S. I'm proud of my chemistry though, managed to get PES. The requirement is to get A for every single test. For maths, I didn't get A for one test, so it's quite a waste...If not I don't even have to study for Promos at all! Lol, day-dreaming again...=X. As for my economics, since it is H1, I think I give up on it already...hahahha.

Most of my CG mates are having examinations, so I'm been offering my help to tutor them. So far, only Wayne has been 'making use' of me. Calling me almost everything to ask about maths and chemistry. Good way to refresh my memories, lol.

Back to the main topic. Watched the Table Tennis Finals between Singapore and China yesterday. My excitement was evident and I kept encouraging my CG mates to go back home quickly and watch the match at 7.30pm. Initally, I thought that Singapore will win, Tian Feng won the first game of the first match, which is definitely a huge morale booster to the team. But in the end, she lost and Jia Wei also lost too. =( Emo...

But at least they won back a Silver medal, after 48 years being 'medaless'. I believe that playing table tennis is their passion and it really didn't matter what the outcome was. It must have been their dream to represent Singapore for the Olmypics.

What's my dream? What's your dream? Dream, a word that many people lived to fufill. So, it is back to the egg and chicken question-which came first? I remembered

my conversation with my classmate a few days back.

'So you like eating eh?'

'Ya.'

'Hmm, do you eat to live or live to eat?'

'That is a huge difference you know that?'

'Yea I know. I live to eat, thats why I enjoy eating =D.'

'Lol, for me, I eat to live, cause if I don't eat, I will die.'

So do I live to dream or dream to live? I think I'm a 'live to dream' kind of person. Yea, Albert Einstein once said that imagination is more important than knowledge. Napolean once said that imagination conquers the world.

I got so many dreams...dream of this and that and this and that. Right now I dream of straight A for all my subjects. I'm also dreaming of my dream girl. That evil Wayne, ever since he knew my secret he keep threathening me.Grr............I gonna reveal your secret too if you try anything funny. >.< (angry face)

Life in school is so boring now, no tests or exams for the next 5 weeks. Yawns...no pressure at all. This is so unlike my lifestyle. Got a few people asked me why I always walk alone in school sometimes, cause I want to go to the lecture hall and play the piano alone. Not that I want to be anti-social. Anyway they're not my classmates so they won't understand me at all. I volunteered to sell drinks to students in school during my breaks. At least now I'm occupied with something to do. Thank God.

Played Dota again today, owned as usual. Winning suddenly becomes so mundane and boring. I miss the days when I just started playing, when I was learning all those new stuff and get being scolded 'noob, noob, noob.' Lol, it was fun sadistically. Now, getting a bit tired of playing. Maybe I should do something else. Ok, I shall dream, and dream, and once again, dream.

Signing off,

Astarmist

Just an impossible dream

I realised that I usually post after playing one Dota match. Lol...Assuredly I say to you, this is going to be a long post. Definition of long---read on to find out.

Initially, my display driver was not updated. So one of my friend who is a computer whizz, helped me fix it. Now I don't need to save $169 to buy GE9600 series. Woot!

So naturally, I went to play one match to celebrate. It was a good match, we won and I was the best farmer and top scorer.

373 creeps kill! 2nd highest only 303, lol. =D

Had leaders' meeting at JW with Pst.Kong yesterday. To prepare for that meeting, I went to sick bay to sleep from 9am to 2pm. Lol, since I could just copy the notes from my friends. That's what I love about my school. Can just go sick bay anytime you like, wahhahahaha. =p

The meeting will probably be one of the 'unforgettable' in my life. So far, there have been a few 'unforgettable' moments in church. Examples:

-During a service when everyone kneeled down to worship God, and the whole church teared and that was the strongest presence of God I have felt yet. It was very long ago, when my parents were still attending the same church, roughly 2003/4.

-During a service in 2004 at SIS with Pst. Ulf Ekman, one of the greatest apostles in the world.

-During a small group meeting with Edwin and a few CG members at JW cafe at night, where the whole place is empty except for us.

Rev.Bambang, the senior pastor of a 30,000 member church, was invited to share the word. But what impacted me most is the band. From the band, I can tell that their church is a true worshipper. Presence of God was so strong...totally beyond description. The sermon was good too; hilarous yet impactful. Thank you God for such a wonderful experience.

After Rev.Bambang left, Pst.Kong wanted to meet the male and female leaders separately. I thought that he must have something sensitive to say then. So Edwin and I left the auditorium and we went to L4 cafe to rest. Had a good discipleship session with him, learnt how to better manage my group, the art of follow-up and to multiply my time. Hope to train more disciples in my own group too.

After nearly an hour's wait, we went down for our session with Pst. Kong. Actually, I had already guessed what he wanted to say. And it was spot-on, he wanted to talk about the Singles in church. Hahahahah, and Edwin was beside me. Lol, wanted to use this as an impetus for him to find a girlfriend soon. =X Kept reiterating, 'one more month, one more month'. Quite fun, lol. He has been making fun of me for the past few days, so now is my 'revenge'. Hehehehe *evil smile.

As for me, I already have someone in mind. But, it is really just an impossible dream. I think I have a bit of low self-image. Didn't fancy dressing myself up. Always wore the same clothes, shoes, bag. And I don't know why, I have difficulty in having eye contact with people. And, worst of all, I don't know how to speak up. I'm by nature a quiet person, just like Pst. Kong. Well, at least he is smarter and better looking than me; graduated from RJC and he is quite fit.

I guess the only merits I have is that I am musically inclined and I'm a quiet person? Lol, that means that I'm a good listener? I hope so. ^^ So far, no one has complained that I talked too much, only the contrary. I prefer listening than talking. That explains why we have 2 ears and 1 mouth in the first place. Lol, another merit: I'm good in maths and science. Got Partial Exemption Scheme(PES) for Chemistry!!! Don't need to take promos for Chem, which is equivalent to not studying Chem for the next 4 months! My maths almost got PES, screwed up in common test. The rest all A, so wasted T.T.

Oh, I'm so obsessed with Yitnao. What should I do, God? I even pray for Yitnao in my quiet time, and I doubt there is any way to expluge her from my mind. Lol, I think I'm 17 behaving like 7. After all, I have never been into a relationship before. Now only 2 people knows my secret. 'Bu neng shuo de mi mi'. Sometimes I think I'm weird. I want the person to notice me, yet I don't want the person to 'know-tice' me. What a contradiction. I hope that the secret will be kept though, yet I know, it will somehow leak out one way or another. Not so soon please. Wait till I'm in NS, haha. =D

I have never imagine myself to like someone so soon. To think that I hated girls when I was younger before, due to a rejection by a girl. It was probably my first and will hopefully be my last. I'm kinda getting a phobia of rejection. I guess, that is why one of the most beautiful girl in Church that Pst.Kong mentioned didn't get any suitor; she was too risky to be wooed.

God I don't ask for much. I don't ask for the brighest girl-someone from RGS or RJC. I don't ask for the most beautiful girl-someone who won the beauty peagant or some form of it. I don't ask for the kindest girl-someone like Mother.Theresa. I don't ask for the most popular girl-some mediacorp actress.

All I ask is for an ordinary girl, serving an extraordinary God-someone like Yitnao.

Signing off,
Astarmist

Epilouge

Astarmist doesn't matter if he can or can't be with Yitnao. Just being friends would suffice. 'To love doesn't mean to possess'. A famous cliche, that only one will understand when one experiences it. May Yitnao be always happy and cheerful in all of her days.

Time>Money

Today was a stressful cum experiential day. It was my first time being You Mei's runner; You Mei is a section leader in the usher ministry. Initially, I was allocated to serve Alpha but Alpha was under the Chinese church. So when I was You Mei told me to be her runner, I was stunned. She quickly ask me go get paper and pen and I did so swiftly. Just like what Pst.Tan said, servanthood must be swift.

I was told to follow her wherever she went and will be directly under her instructions. Screwed up a lot of times during praise, cause when she asked me to do something, when I went back to find her, she was gone. Unexpectedly, she never scold me at all, as if I was supposed to lose sight of her. After all, it was my first time.

Worst part of during sermon. She was standing at sound console while I was standing at well beside S4. Owned man...I thought I was a failure. Thank God there was nothing much to do during sermon.

Had a breakthrough attendance CG bbq outing this week, 57 people in total. Must really thank God for his grace. Played this game called 'Build the highest tower!'

Foundation

Middle section

Top

I think our tower is approximately 4 metres. Lol, that's quite a feat to be accomplished, given the resources we have. Teamwork is crucial for the success of the tower. After games, we ate the 'BBQ-ed' food and most of the friends left as it was already quite night, around 9+. Those without parental objection stayed together and we fellowshipped. Thank God the following day is national day, so we have ample time to rest.

Going to prayer meeting later at 7am. Don't know why I'm unable to sleep right now, which is ironic since I should be sleepy after a whole day's activity.

Oh well, maybe I will count sheeps to sleep. Or maybe, I will just dream of Yitnao...

Signing off,
Astarmist

A moment of glory

Whee, had national day celebration cum student leaders' investiture today.

All the student leaders stayed overnight in school yesterday and we had BBQ for dinner! Then the LN was transformed into a 'club' with a real DJ inside, hired by the school. Mr.chua said those with asthma are not advised to go in. When I stepped into the room, I could hardly breathe. So I aptly walked out and went to EG room. Thank God Murong brought the key to school. So most of my cca mates who didn't fancy clubbing went to EG room to slack, e.g play PSP. My good friend lent me his PSP and I played DJ Max 2. Completed lots of extreme challenge and got addicted to it.

Then we went to the hall to sleep. Couldn't sleep initially, and I only fell asleep due to fatigue at 2.23am. Woke up at 5.53am, which meant that I slept for exactly 3 hours. Ironically, I was relatively awake and already prepared for breakfast and morning assembly.

Breakfast was good; since it was meant for student leaders, it had to be good, right? Lol...Then we positioned ourselves at 'senang de ri' at 7.15am while waiting for the rest of the cohort to settle down. Assembly started at 7.30am and after 5 mins or so, we had to recite the student leaders' pledge. We, the student leaders...so on.

After our celebration, everyone was given a cake that resembles Singapore. O.o quite delicious but a little bit too sweet.

Having CG BBQ at 6pm later, and I'm looking forward to all the food I can eat, wahahahha =D. My Dota is bugged once again, and I guess I will only be able to fix it on tuesday once I get the CD in EG room, since there is no school on monday.

On the brighter side, I guess there are hundred and one things to do other than Dota.

Signing off,

Astarmist

Utmost gratitude

I finally got back my phone today at 4.23 pm! Now I understand the phrase, 'You will only treasure the thing(s) after you have lost it.' This whole event is really unbelivable. Everything seems to flow together, like a masterpiece. And there can only be one director-God. I finally got back my phone today at 4.23 pm! Now I understand the phrase, 'You will only treasure the thing(s) after you have lost it.' This whole event is really unbelivable. Everything seems to flow together, like a masterpiece. And there can only be one director-God.

There is seriously a lot, a lot and a lot of people I want to thank. Ok, I shall thank God first because he is the most important in my life =).

Thank you God for your grace in enabling me to find my handphone. Thank you for your guidance in leading me to the right place, at the right time, to the right person. Everything all fits together nicely and I know it is your hand at work. I love you God ^^

Secondly, I want to thank Chao Chung for sending the Moblog message. The person read every single sms (don't know if it is good or bad) and saw that message, which led him to contact Pinde immediately. And thank you for your Hp. no. It is sooooooooo easy to remember! Wahahahahahah =D Last time I 'lost' my Hp also contacted you to inform the CG, lol.

Thirdly, I want to thank Pinde, cause he is the only person that I could contact in SIS. Being my IC, it was easy to find him and somehow, God told me to tell Chao Chung to contact Pinde if he needs to find me.

Lastly, I want to thank Wei An, the person who found my handphone. He passed it to his friend cause he was busy. I called him and wanted to reward him but he said that it is alright. Wow, I'm seriously touched to the core. His kindness is beyond description. Don't know if he is a christian but I hope he is. Since I can't thank him in anyway, God I pray that you will bless him and cause him to always be kind-hearted and if he is not saved, I pray that he will come to know of your saving grace. Amen =)

This is so similar to the story of the prodigal son, like I told Edwin. Today, I had a taste of the bible in reality. It is so awesome man. 'Once was lost, but now is found.'

Must reflect on my carelessness too. Ah, God pls make me more meticulous in everything that I do.

Side tracking, I wonder if my father would get me a new phone if I lost this. Haha, maybe I will get a better phone? =D. But I got scolded by my father for 10 minutes today, don't think he will get me one. Oh well...doesn't hurt thinking about it right? Lol =X.

Great FOP sessions and CG this week, and it is back to school tomorrow. Technically it's today since it's past midnight but who cares? Off to bed I go...

Signing off,
Astarmist

If you only had one chance...

I'm reminded of my CS sniper training last week. A 1v1 mode, and the sniper has only one bullet and if he misses, he can't shoot anymore. It is extremely stressful to decide whether you should pull the trigger or not. What if you miss? If you wait for the opponent to shoot first, what if he head shots? What a tough decision to make.

I think I'm lovesick, just like what Wayne said. I don't know, so confused. Confusion is a refusal to make a decision. But I don't have any decision to make. So now what? I guess I will let nature takes it course.

Woke up early today and went to school to meet Wei Yang for a prayer walk in LT5.

Left side

Center

Right side

There are approximately 600 seats and we laid hands on every single seat. It was fun =).

Fell asleep 6 times during GP today and the teacher was scolding me in front of the whole class. His lessons are not boring, just that I'm tired. But he thinks that I thinks that his lessons are boring. How weird our mind sometimes works. Oh well....

Went to FOP today and it was a great time. Ironically, I enjoyed Sermon better than the Praise and Worship. Not used to such loud music, can't worship properly.

Once again, I saw her in SIS. Haix, I keep thinking of her. I think I will go crazy one day. But it is too coincidental already. Out of 12000 people in SIS, I saw her. 1 out of 12000 is 0.008333333%. You know how low that is? Yet, it occured.

I know that the probability of being with her will be even lower than 0.008333333%, maybe 1 x 10^(-99)%. But I can't help thinking about her. Is this what they call 'bittersweet'?

Tired...guess I'm going to sleep after this post. Did so many calculations today, especially while waiting for the shuttle bus. I think Wayne and I are sick people, Lol! Still want to calculate the velocity of the bus, acceleration and time needed for the bus to reach the bus stop and the exact position where it will stop. Haha =D

Signing off,
Astarmist