First post of my "new" blog. =)
Dear Diary,
I just enjoy writing down my thoughts now, since sharing with other people sometimes seems too difficult.
I am going to try posting for my personal pleasure, and not for anyone else sake. Anyway no one comes here too. =D
Dear Diary,
I was quite disappointed today cause service attendance crashed. Suddenly last minute everyone all cannot make it. "When the cat is away, the mice will play". Talked with Rosalyn about the state of the CG and we both feel that the members are so slack nowadays. In the past, we will do anything just to come for service and CG. I remember back in 2005 emerge, I had a high fever of 39.7 degrees yet I still came for the night session. Now, just because of a slight flu or cough, members don't want to come already. I felt really dismayed, but there is nothing I can do. God I just pray that you'll help the members to be more mature.
Dear Diary,
Do you know I've been liking someone for more than 2 years? I've been trying to keep it as a secret and only told someone else about it after like 1 year. I really want to express my feelings but I'm so scared of getting rejected. It is painful to have a crush on someone and you can't let that person know about it. Quoting from one of the channel 8 drama, "An lian shi tong ku de". So true...
I feel so awkward everything I look at her I have to pretend I don't like her. The worse part is she is so pretty, so many people like her as well. And the funny thing is that I wasn't attracted to her when I first saw her. But her smile and jovial character soon set my heart fluttering. Started to fall in love with her after one combined CG outing in west coast park.
Soon after, I wanted to find out her name and everything about her. But I'm such a coward, don't even dare to say a simple "hi". Maybe that is why I haven't got into a single relationship before. Or maybe I just not as handsome and hot as all the other guys out there. Different people have different talents. I just don't have the talent of looks, oh well...
Feel so good to type it all out. Somehow I'm not afraid of her knowing already, I'm prepared for the worst. Maybe I should just confess to her. Then I can start mugging for A level in peace. =)
Dear Diary,
I haven't found my best friend yet after nearly two months. When will he/she come? I need a best friend to talk to now. I don't need advises, I just need a listening ear. I'm tired of finding a best friend already. If only finding one was so easy as ABC...
*Wishing for one to just fall from the sky and land right beside me now*
Dear Diary,
I thought it was abnormal to not be in a relationship after 17 years of life. I thought either I was too ugly, too stupid, too retarded, too crazy, too unlikeable. But Xinying told me she also haven't been in one before. I was quite surprised. Given her looks, it was unbelievable. Maybe she rejected a lot of people already, lol.
I know it is crazy but I want to get into a relationship now, before I go NS. If not, I wouldn't be able to get into one for the next 11 years.
NS-3 years
UNI-4 years with degree
NIE-3 years ( Yes I definitely want to be a teacher)
Find Job- 1 year
Total: 11 years
Cool man...I'll be like 29 years old before I can get into a relationship? Wow...think I'll get married at 30 years old then.
I was telling one of my classmates that I've never hugged a girl before and he was shocked, lol. Hold hands got, cause Pastor sometimes say "hold your neightbour's hand". I want to know the feeling of being hugged, that simple. Don't need kiss, just hug. Man, I sound like a deprived kid that has been living by himself for the past 17 years. To a certain extent, yes.
Maybe I'm desperate, but I think I'll accept any girl who likes me now. Anyway it is more blessed to be love. =)
