I've gotten my answer for my relationship issue.
My mum just told me 2 days ago that she will be resigning this coming May because of various reasons (health, stress, time) and somehow I just managed to be calm and reassured her that if we do get into some financial crisis, I'm willing to give up whatever dreams I have and support the family. Which is to probably find part-time jobs/change course into NIE and get paid while studying. I told her I'll also cut down on my spending and actually I feel kinda guilty and bad already cause she told me all these after we booked the tickets to Japan and...I just feel so grateful for a mum like her. I think probably cause she knows I really love Japan a lot and she waited till the tickets are booked before she told me she will be resigning, so that I won't tell her that I don't want to go Japan out of compulsion. I'm...really....touched...
Therefore, the answer that I've got is not to find a gf for now till I manage to have a stable job, regardless of church or non-church. I won't have the financial means to get into a relationship now that I've got a family to support. I just hope to graduate and get a job as soon as possible now. At least God gave me an answer, when I said I don't know what to do, hahaha. I just pray that He will truly be my provider in the coming future after May.
For many months, it's always a struggle in my mind to choose between staying in Singapore and migrating to Japan in the future. It's gonna be a hard decision, but if I have to choose between family and Japan, I will still choose family. I'm just thankful to God for that one trip to Japan in my life. It happened during the period of my life when I had depression and really helped in the transition for me to become normal again. I always thought of it as God's gift to me at the darkest moment of my life. Even if I don't get to go there ever again in my life time, it's enough for me, I'm contented. :)
Christ is enough for me, everything I need is in You, everything I need.
Jer 29:11
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
