It's been quite long since I blogged, don't really know what to blog around these few days. Even though there are many events but it's like obvious events, talk about it also might as well not, lol. Frankly speaking, these past few weeks have been rather boring, especially after Ex Wallaby. Like routine, weekdays in camp, weekends go church and cg. What I need now is some excitement in my life. Must be feeling like this cause I've been playing computer games the whole day for the past 4 days due to my leg injury. Argh...

Really looking forward to the chalet by 'hotel' clique (sounds a bit wrong, lol). Even though I won't be moving much, but hope we get to chat a lot and have fun counting down.

Sometimes even I myself don't know what I really want. I have no idea why I got this 'lost' feeling these few days, it's like I don't fit into anywhere. Like I'm doing things because I have to do it, like a call of duty. In camp, people ask me to do what, I just do. Which I think is a good thing cause the sergeants and the other people praised me. But in the end I have to put up a fake front because I don't really enjoy doing what I'm doing. Seriously, how did I even manage to smile and act like it's nothing for all this time? I must be imba...

Then the feeling of wanting to have a girlfriend suddenly comes. Maybe due to the influence of couples getting together during Christmas. But it is different this time though. I don't want to like someone again, cause all the girl I liked in the past didn't have any feelings for me. I think it's funny but I want a girlfriend just for the company, don't want to have any feelings attached. Is that even possible? Lol.

I guess I've really changed a lot. The past me won't even think of all these kind of things. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's army influence, or maybe it's just natural transition of another phase of my life.

Angel said need to meet Edwin for evaluation for myself this year. But seriously, I don't really know what has happened this year. I don't even know how to evaluate myself. What have I done for the past year? What can I improve on? What should I do? Action plan? I really really really don't know...All I know is that 2010 wasn't really a good year for me, and all the more I'm looking forward to 2011 not because I'll ORD, but because I want to leave this monotonous year behind.

Because this year, two major things happened to me.

1. Enlisted into army
2. Fall out of love

I won't say they are bad things, cause things can be good or bad from different perspective. They're probably the main reason for my change.

But I stick relentlessly to the quote: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. Indeed, I'm a much stronger person now. Able to withstand all the people making fun of me, all the insults/criticism I get, any arrow that shoots towards me.

For that, thank you God for being with me all these while. I've been a really bad person this year, please forgive me for every wrong thing that I've done, and all the right things that I never do due to various reasons.

With that, I do hope the 2011 will be the best year of my life yet.