Was having a lot of thoughts going through my mind this week. Fell sick on tuesday; had cough, flu and sore throat. The polyclinic was going frenzy on their vilgilance for swine flu, and every patient has to wear a face mask. It was rather uncomfortable, and I had to sit there for 2 hours for the waiting time.

Didn't see Wayne for one week already. I seriously don't know what happened to cause such a sudden change. Wasn't everything fine the last time I sent him off? We were still joking in the MRT as I sent him off. He only said he won't be coming for 3 weeks. Now he said he won't be coming back.

This whole issue really affected me a lot. Imagine your best friend ignoring you suddenly? In addition, I don't even know the cause of it. Edwin asked me if I needed counselling and I said I'm fine. But in actual fact, I'm not. I can't remember the last time I cried for someone, but I cried for him for the first time.

Well, they say friends are gifts from God. So I asked God this question: "If you have given me my best friend, why take him away?" I cried while praying for him, cause it feels like a part of me has just been ripped apart. I don't know how much I mean to him, but he is the closest person to me. I'm not even that close to my family compared to him.

I'm usually optimistic but this time, I don't know if he will be coming back or not, cause he said he won't be. But I'm still hoping, that glimmer of hope that I'll never give up, be it how slim it may be. I feel so confused, never felt this confused and dejected. Not even when the girl I like likes someone else. It is as if I have failed in my friendship. I feel so lousy.

Dear God, will you intervene? If all my prayers were to fail and I can only choose one to come to pass, then I would want this to come to pass: "Dear God, please allow Wayne to tide over all his problems and let our friendship be restored again. I don't know how long it will take, maybe 1 week, maybe 1 month or 1 year, but I pray he will experience you again and know that you are always with him every moment of his life. Amen."

Astarmist